American Expat in Philippines Rescues Report Cards at Iloilo

ushers at santa teresa guimaras

American expat in Philippines rescues report cards at Iloilo High School. Yes, I had to make a return trip to the educational institution which our niece Shaina and nephew Sharwin formerly attended. (Note: after misspelling our nephew’s name for over four years now, my asawa has finally corrected me on how to properly spell the young man’s name. My apologies, Sharwin, not Sharwen.)

Filipino nephew Sharwen the Filipino FarinaSharwin and Michelle. Don’t ask.

I graduated from high school in 1970 and I didn’t relish going back to the high school where a teacher attempted to steal money from my nephew. Report cards for the brother and sister were supposed to be given out on a Friday.

On the following Monday my asawa and I were going to Guimaras to enroll the two in the high school. Report cards were necessary for the enrollment along with a “137 Form” which cost my spouse approximately 300 pesos in fees for “ink charges.”

So Sharwin and Shaina showed up at home on Friday’s report card day without their report cards. There was some muttered response from the two about a teacher not signing the cards and that the teacher’s signature was needed for the report card’s release. Why this was not done beforehand is beyond my mortal comprehension. 

Michelle and Shaina mugging for the camera

Nieces Michelle and Shaina

The Philippines Expat Advisor - American Expat in Philippines Rescues Report Cards at Iloilo

I wasn’t happy. But my Filipina wife took it in stride since our niece’s and nephew’s teachers assured them the report cards would be ready for pick-up on Monday. My wife would go with the two.

I advised my long suffering, patient wife that I was sure the cards would not be ready based on my past experiences with this Iloilo High School. It took my nephew five visits to the school last year to get his final report card for the year . 

Husbands rejoice! My prophecy came true. My spouse, along with Sharwin and Shaina,  went to the high school early Monday morning. The report cards had not been signed yet. It was the principal of the high school whose signature needed to be affixed to the documents, and not a teacher’s, as previously thought, but the head honcho was not in yet.

Furthermore, the administrative staff advised my wife that the principal, scheduled to show up on Monday, Wednesday and Friday (don’t ask me what she does on Tuesday and Thursday) had called in sick. 

“There is no one else at the school that has the authority to sign those cards!” I asked my asawa. “Hand the phone to someone there. I want to talk to somebody now!” 

“No, dear, ” my wife said, trying to calm me down, “I will take care of it. They are going to text me when the cards are ready.”

Dr, Melita Jesusa Suga T. Uy and my asawa

Dr. Melita Jesusa Suga T. Uy and my long suffering asawa. From “The Fish Bone Fiasco.”

“But they do not know when the principal will be back. And Sharwin and Shaina need to get enrolled in Guimaras. I’m coming over there right now!!!” I shouted.

“No, dear, no, your blood pressure is too high! I will take care of it.” my poor spouse pleaded with me.

“I’M ON MY WAY RIGHT NOW!!!” was my heated reply.

To be continued (of course)

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.

14 thoughts on “American Expat in Philippines Rescues Report Cards at Iloilo

  1. This is exactly how I would react also Dave.  My fiance cant understand why a person (me) cant just immediatly change there entire personality, and become like a Filipino. My answer was, I am an American, not a Filipino, that didnt go over so big either though. I understand that I need to change, when I move there, and not have the American hissy fits, but I also have learned over the years to satand-up for myself, when I am being screwed with. Am hoping when Ivy gets here, in a few months that she will see first hand, that life is different here in America, some good, some bad, but will in the end, understand why we dont lie down and let others roll over us. Its hard to change ones personality, (mine) but know I will have too as best I can when I move there, Sounds like we both need some luck with that one.

    1. Know exactly how you feel, Bill S. While I’ve learned to adapt in the past four years to certain aspects of Filipino culture, there are times when I feel I have to take things into my own hands and work out a solution. I’m a 61-year-old geezer and while I might like to think I can follow my hero, Red Green’s, “Man’s Prayer,” deep down I know I really can’t. Here’s Red’s prayer:

      “I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.”

        1. Bill S,  Red Green was my hero and a role model and mentor to middle-aged and older guys all across Canada and the States. I discovered “The Red Green Show” on my public tv station one day. He offered sage advice and handy “how-to” tips with the handyman’s secret weapon, duct tape. Truly, one of the funniest shows I’ve ever watched. 

      1. Dave,

        I'm lost with Gary's Comment too.  I know he is having problems with brown outs down there in Tagum.  Hopefully everything is alright with him.

        1. Yep, I’ve heard there are 7-9 hour daily rotational brownouts in GenSan, too, Papa Duck, where faithful reader Tom Ramberg and his asawa reside. I was complaining about brownouts here in Iloilo. Only seven brownouts here last month, none lasting more than an hour.

  2. Hey Dave, I've been following your blog for a few months now. Thanks for all the info. I was wondering who the Doctor is in the picture with your wife? Is she married?

    1. Thanks for the support, Ernesto. Yep, the Doc is married. When I first ran the story on her, she retrieved a fishbone from my wife’s throat, her picture generated quite a buzz with some of my readers wondering if she was available or not. Nice lady. 

        1. Ernesto, are you referring to the doc that is pictured next to my lovely asawa in the last photo on this post? Start at any SM or Robinson’s Mall in the Philippines. Good luck on your upcoming trip and stay safe. 

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