Mac Davis crooned that “it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.” Anyone that has ever met me can attest to the fact that I’m far from perfect. But in the Philippines, one can become an expat celebrity the minute they pass their plastic-wrapped luggage through the Manila airport and officially enter the PH. When’s the last time someone exclaimed to you: “He must be an American movie star!”?
Lead Photo from Imgur
Never buy your asawa clothes for Christmas. If she’s anything like my wife, you’ll end up going to a SM City Mall the day after Jesus’ birthday celebration and face massive mobs that rival the hordes of Hade. I kid you not. I would (almost) rather have each of my fingernails and toenails pulled out then encounter the crowds that my spouse and I had to deal with. I had to navigate the crowded mall filled with morons that hypnotically gazed downward at their cell phones as they checked their latest asinine Facebook message and never watched where they were going. Crowded eateries that reduced us to eating at Pizza Hut (at Robinsons, our first stop) which is never packed out.
Lolo joins the fight club. My 82-year-old father-in-law has dementia. He lives with us. And occasionally the senior likes to spar with his son-in-law he calls “Domingo” since he can’t pronounce my real name, “Dave.” It’s OK, I’ve been called a lot worse. But the feisty fighter is getting on my nerves.
I hereby officially declare, Papa Duck, the new “King of Karaoke” onGuimaras Island. PD and Asawa Anne visited my spouse and I at “The Farm,” and we had the pleasure of the couple accompanying us to the recent Manggahan Festival. That’s Papa Duck in the lead photo belting out “Hotel California” by The Eagles over at theKookoonips outlet at the mango fiesta.
My wife and I made our monthly shopping trip to Iloilo City recently. Before we stopped at the SM HyperMarket to do our grocery shopping we hailed a taxi to go to the Cignal main office.
Hanging out with friends, Ann and Papa Duck, at "The Farm"
Readers, an extremely distressing incident involving two of our best friends, American expat Papa Duck, and his wife Anne, occurred recently. Papa D's lovely Filipina asawa was held by Macau police and had to appear before a judge. This event troubled my wife and I tremendously. Papa Duck has graciously allowed me to publish this story as a warning to other foreigners that might be planning to visit this Chinese-controlled territory.
Papa Duck has flown back to the Philippines for good. The American expat, who recently married his lovely Filipina girlfriend, Anne, has officially retired in this archipelago of 7,107 islands. He's said "adios" to the rat race in America. Farewell to stress. "Au revoir" to the daily grind. Yes, he's now living the good life.