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Expat Healthcare in the Philippines: Are YOU Prepared?

ambulance leaving guimaras provincial hospital

A serious topic for today’s post: “Expat Healthcare in the Philippines: Are YOU Prepared?” Do you think that if you move to the Philippines and become ill that the Philippine government will help you out? You’re not in Kansas anymore, Pilgrim. YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR ANY CONTINGENCY BEFORE MOVING TO THE PHILIPPINES. There’s no safety net for foreigners in “paradise”.

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Crusty Old Expat Cancels Computer God’s Visit

The Kano in Iloilo e

Who says you can’t teach an aging fossil something new? “Crusty Old Expat Cancels Computer God’s Visit” celebrates the fact that even an aged geezer like me can overcome obstacles. While I might be in my twilight years, ready to meet Jesus any day now,  I actually finally figured out how to add my new internet service to my existing Globe account on my own. 

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St. Valentine’s Day Massacre: Guimaras Mountain Resort

Guimaras Mountain Resort

My lovely asawa and I recently witnessed a St. Valentine’s Day Massacre at the Guimaras Mountain Resort. OK, I, confess. Maybe only a few turkeys and chickens were actually sacrificed for the buffet dinner. However, Valentine’s Day, 1929,  in Chicago, produced a very “Bloody Valentine.” Seven members of “Bugs” Moran’s gang were gunned down. The slaughter was attributed to rival gangster Al “Scarface” Capone.

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Iloilo City Immigration Excellence

Iloilo Immigration

“Well bad news travels like wildfire, good news travels slow…”Johnny Cash Bad News.

Bad news gets better ratings. Good news doesn’t get too much attention. But I always strive to show you the good and the bad regarding life in the Philippines. “Iloilo City Immigration Excellence” relates my recent visit to our local Bureau of Immigration, BI. Because my trip to BI was one of the most positive experiences I’ve ever experienced in the archipelago, I just had to share it. 

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Our Island Hopping Disappointment in Boracay

island hopping in boracay

“Our Island Hopping Disappointment in Boracay.” I must have been asked over a thousand times if I wanted to go island hopping by various salesmen during our four day stay in Boracay. I was getting pissed with all the perpetual pestering.

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GUIMELCO Comes Through! Lolo’s Nipa Hut Has Electricity!

guimelco

As regular readers of Philippines Plus know, my father-in-law, Lolo (Filipino for Grandfather) is afflicted with Alzheimer’s Disease. If not for the expensive medications provided by the generous Murray the Kiwi, Lolo’s affliction would be even worse. My brother-in-law Joery and his crew have been building a nipa hut for Lolo on our new property in Guimaras, the island province we reside on.  We had tremendous news Tuesday afternoon as our utility company on the island, GUIMELCO, comes through! Lolo’s nipa hut has electricity!

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Never Buy Your Asawa Clothes for Christmas

I love santas helpers

Lead Photo from Imgur  

Never buy your asawa clothes for Christmas. If she’s anything like my wife, you’ll end up going to a SM City Mall the day after Jesus’ birthday celebration and face massive mobs that rival the hordes of Hade. I kid you not. I would (almost) rather have each of my fingernails and toenails pulled out then encounter the crowds that my spouse and I had to deal with.  I had to navigate the crowded mall filled with morons that hypnotically gazed downward at their cell phones as they checked their latest asinine Facebook message and never watched where they were going. Crowded eateries that reduced us to eating at Pizza Hut (at Robinsons, our first stop) which is never packed out.

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Isuzu D-Max 4×2 Automatic Truck Was Merely a Pigment of our Imagination

Isuzu D Max

(Lead Photo Source: Eastern Motors Info)

No, it’s not a misprint. Our Isuzu D-Max Automatic Truck was merely a “pigment” of our imagination. I worked with a Filipino back in the States who would pull a Norm Crosby (for you old geezers out there) and mangle her English occasionally. One of my favorites was her substitution of “pigment” for the phrase “figment of your imagination.” Unfortunately our recent situation with our Isuzu salesman in Iloilo who told us the Isuzu passenger truck we wanted to buy was “available” was only a “pigment”of that salesman’s imagination, also.

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Cirrhosis of the Liver: Our Filipino Trike Driver

Grim Reaper

Death. We all eventually face it. If you’re a Christian and have followed the straight and narrow path, chances are you’ve got a good chance of meeting Jesus. If you’re Shirley MacLaine you might be reincarnated and come back as a beautiful bluebird, happily chirping away or  you could return as a festering pimple on some old geezer’s flabby fat ass. I’ll opt for the bluebird. If you’re a Catholic you’ll be twiddling your thumbs in purgatory hoping someone will light enough candles and recite enough prayers for you to escape. If you’re a professed atheist, you’re finished. You don’t believe in anything so I guess you’ll end up as a pile of nothingness as you hum “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas for eternity. I’ve known of three people that have developed cirrhosis of the liver since moving to the Philippines over five years ago. Two of them died. Now the third,  our Filipino trike driver,  is holed up at the local Guimaras provincial hospital for the past few weeks and is diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It’s a grim disease, often fatal.

Grim Reaper                                                                                       The Grim Reaper: Graphic Source: Butterfunk.com

 

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