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Tag: living in paradise

Philippines Vehicle Registration Ruckus

Philippines Vehicle Registration Ruckus

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Any notion knocking around inside my fat head that I'm living in paradise is usually shattered by a visit to any local government office. "Philippines Vehicle Registration Ruckus" is a prime example.  While I had hopes that an insurance agent in Guimaras, the island province we call home, could assist us, our "fixer" was woefully unable to assist us. (more…)
“Do You Speak English?”

“Do You Speak English?”

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It's  fiesta time at our sleepy barangay on the island province of Guimaras. When I first heard my asawa mention that it was time for their annual celebration, I scratched my head (not my butt this time) and wondered out loud: "Why was an Asian country celebrating what I thought was a Mexican tradition?" (more…)
Annual Report 2015: A Positive Experience at Iloilo Immigration Office

Annual Report 2015: A Positive Experience at Iloilo Immigration Office

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I am delighted to report that my 2015 Annual Report this year at my local Iloilo Immigration Office was a positive experience. My asawa and I had come in from the pump boat from Guimaras, the island province we reside on, to meet an attorney who could do the title transfer for property we have purchased in Guimaras. Since our dock, Ortiz, was fairly near the Immigration Office and it was almost 7:30 am, the time the office would open, I decided we could drop in and do my Annual Report as a foreigner living in the Philippines. (more…)

Sexy Filipinas and Daring Dancers at Manggahan

THE ROOSTER CROWS AT 4AM!
Sometimes it's tough being an American expat in the Philippines. I'm married to a lovely, loving, loyal Filipina wife and surrounded by some of the most beautiful exotic women  and sexy girls on the face of this whirling globe we call Earth. I'm treated like a celebrity and have absolutely no household chores. We have a maid now. While I'm not living in paradise, I'm not too far from it. We even have less brownouts since moving back to Guimaras, our home province, last October, than we ever had before. What more could I guy want, other than a COLD bottle of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.     (more…)

Our Cignal Satellite Installed in Guimaras Part 2

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If you want to retire and live in the Philippines, be prepared for an extremely different culture than you might be used to if you come from a Western culture. “Filipino Time,” which basically means something gets done when it gets done, is in full force and ingrained in the very fabric of the nation. (more…)
The Aging American Expat in the Philippines

The Aging American Expat in the Philippines

FEATURED, LIZARD POOP! ADVENTURES IN ILOILO
American Expat in the Philippines. Iloilo City. Retired. Lazy. Everybody does everything for me. Well, almost everything. I do pee on my own.  Living in "paradise." Getting older. The Black Forest cake from the Red Ribbon bakery at SM City (see next photo) was purchased by my asawa to celebrate my recent 61st birthday. But I don't mind getting older. I'm one step closer to collecting my Social Security.  (more…)
The Nude Model and the Super Sale

The Nude Model and the Super Sale

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Ten bucks. 340 pages. No hype. No bull.  I'm talking about my new E-book, "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Why advisor? Because that's what I try to do. I endeavor to inform, amuse and advise my readers that are interested in moving to the Philippines or already living in this archipelago. I'm no intellectual. If you've read my stuff for awhile, you're already aware of that. (more…)
Fernando Poe Jr., Duwendes and Pan De Sal

Fernando Poe Jr., Duwendes and Pan De Sal

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Received an interesting email the other day forwarded by Farkus from Fargo. "Dave, enjoy reading your adventures in the Philippines. They provide me with a laugh occasionally, and if you've ever spent a winter in Fargo you can use all the laughs you can get. I have a question for you. I know you touched on the topic of Duwendes in the Philippines before, but to your knowledge, do duwendes eat pan de sal?" (Here's my version of a Duwende. It's an original drawing; I obviously have too much time on my hands.)   (more…)
Santa’s Elf is on the Right.

Santa’s Elf is on the Right.

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By Filipino standards, I thought he was tall for one of Santa's helpers. I'm only 6' tall but tower over most people in the Philippines. A thought occurred to me as I looked at this photo. Yes, surprising as it may seem, a thought  occasionally crosses my brain that does not involve drinking adult beverages such as San Miguel Pale Pilsen. I was thinking of the suffering I've been going through lately. Now while I've shared a lot of stuff on this website about living in the Philippines and my personal trials and triumphs, I don't always like to delve into the "touchy-feely" emotional side of me. I was born in the early 50's. I'm a guy. Get the picture? (more…)