CAUTIONARY TALES FROM THE PHILIPPINES
© 2010-2019 The Kano, Dave DeWall
All Rights Reserved
Lizard Poop Productions
Mabuhay, welcome, from Guimaras, an island province of over 163,000 people in Western Visayas of the Philippines, and home to the sweetest mangoes in the world.
Make no mistake about it, the Philippines is no paradise, but it’s cheaper to live here than the States and for the most part, the Filipino people are a warm and friendly lot.
However, like anywhere else in the world, you will find scammers, murderers, thugs and a general assortment of morons that you will certainly want to avoid. Some of these characters are locals, others are foreigners.
You will also find accounts of aswangs, a Filipina witch, and other so-called mythical creatures found in the Philippines.
Despite my initial skepticism about encounters with these monsters from the dark side, I am convinced there is something to these tales. You can make your own judgment after reading these stories for yourself. The majority of these cautionary tales come from my true life experiences of residing here for over nine years. Some of them come from my asawa (spouse.)
Take note of them if you plan to retire to the Philippines, a place I highly recommend as a retirement destination, despite the warnings contained in this digital e-Book.
For the most part, use common sense, and you will usually do just fine. But whenever there’s a full moon, watch your back, an aswang might just be breathing down your back!
Dave DeWall, aka “The Kano”
Guimaras, Western Visayas, the Philippines
CAUTIONARY TALES from the PHILIPPINES
Table of Contents
THE AIRPORT VULTURES OF ILOILO
LOLA KILLS A GIANT LIZARD
GUNFIRE AT THE DISCO!
THE ATTACK OF THE ASWANG
TERROR OF THE WHITE LADY
SOMEBODY IS GOING TO MEET JESUS SOONER THAN EXPECTED
BLOOD SUCKING CAB DRIVERS OF MANILA
MY ASAWA IS ATTACKED AT McDONALD’S
COUSIN EDGARS GETS KILLED IN A MOTORCYCLE CRASH
BARANGAY POLICE BEAT UP MY BROTHER-IN-LAW IN MANILA
JEEPNEY DISPATCHER KILLS HIS COUSIN OVER 10 PESOS
I SHAKE HANDS WITH A MURDERER
LET’S RIP OFF THE “RICH AMERICAN”
ASWANG ATTACKS COPS OUTSIDE OUR SUBDIVISION