LOLO DIES AFTER REFUSING FOOD & WATER FOR OVER A WEEK
Lolo (Grandfather) was refusing to eat or drink for over a week. My loving wife had to feed him with a medical syringe through his lips with the help of three other people. He physically fought off any attempts to give him food or water. In addition, he severely bit my wife’s thumb on a previous feeding attempt. Initial online research indicated he was in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. He was 89 years old and he’s been living with us for over eight years. My wife has been her primary caregiver. However, his suffering ended in his sleep yesterday afternoon, a little after 2:00 pm. He had stopped breathing. My asawa had rushed into our bedroom to wake me from an afternoon nap. Sadly, he had passed away.
“MY FILIPINO FATHER-IN-LAW PASSES AWAY”
The family took Lolo to a local healer years ago after his initial diagnosis of Alzheimer’s from a doctor in Iloilo City.
In fact, Lolo may had been suffering from Lewy body dementia. Lewy body dementia is the third most common cause of dementia after Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. It accounts for 5 to 10 percent of cases. That’s according to alz.org.
Lolo displayed several classic Lewy body dementia characteristics. He had hallucinations, delusions and misidentified familiar people. These symptoms are significantly more frequent in early-stage Lewy body dementia than in Alzheimer’s.
FPJ & Pan de Sal
For years my father-in-law would give his pan de sal to “Fernando.” He would hide it in his comfort room or stick it in a window sill.
We thought Lolo was referring to the late Filipino action star, Fernando Poe Jr, FPJ. However, my wife was in her Father’s nipa hut when he started having a conversation with “Fernando.” Turns out it wasn’t FPJ that Lolo was leaving his bread for, it was for a relative named “Fernando.”
“Fernando” had been dead for several years.
Lolo occasionally had a “girlfriend,” “Pearly,” that visited him. While he had been separated from his wife for decades, we always knew when “Pearly” was in the nipa hut. Lolo carried on a conversation with his “girlfriend,” albeit a lopsided one. My father-in-law would speak to “Pearly” and then respond in a shrill, feminine voice, as he stood in for his invisible squeeze.
I.V. or Feeding Tube?
While my sister-in-law considered having a nurse visit Lolo and have an I.V. set up, I mentioned that Lolo would probably pull out the I.V. He would more than likely do the same with a feeding tube. Moreover, some medical website didn’t recommend an I.V. or feeding tube and stated that the patient could die within a month after receiving such treatment.
Hospital care was not an option as our local hospital is overwhelmed with COVID-19 cases.
Consequently, Lolo was fed three times with a fruit shake my wife would blend for him.
My wife had earlier paid 45,000 pesos, 900 US dollars for a funeral plan. The plan covers Lolo’s embalming and coffin. However, we discovered that the cemetery lot we planned to bury him in has been shut down by the government because it is full. My wife’s brother, who was murdered at the age of 33 while working overseas, is buried in the old cemetery. Now we will have to bury him in a new cemetery lot.
Brother Luis has an enclosed gated, locked area with benches. Now his Papa can’t join him there.
The family would come every year to clean and repair Luis’ gravesite
LOLO’S LAST WORDS TO HIS DAUGHTER, MY WIFE
Lolo in happier days
“THANK YOU, DADAY, THANK YOU.” My father-in-law hadn’t spoken for over a week. He thanked my wife in the morning and passed away a few hours later.
“Daday” is my wife’s nickname.
THE FUNERAL HOME PICKED UP LOLO’S REMAINS YESTERDAY AFTERNOON. THE FAMILY GATHERED TO MOURN HIS PASSING.
LOLO RETURNS HOME FOR NOW
Lolo rests peacefully in our home for now. All the lights are turned on in the evening and someone from the family stays in the room with him all during the evening. He was a hard worker who provided for his family of eight. He will be sorely missed by his family and friends.
Special thanks to an old friend, Steve Ames, for his generous donation.
Special thanks to the Collins/Ganadores Family for the beautiful flower arrangement they sent.
A special mass was held for Lolo this past Wednesday, October 6, 2021. Lolo was laid to rest in a new memorial cemetery on Thursday, October 7, 2021.
My loving wife mourns the loss of her Taytay, Father
Lolo’s final resting place is being prepared
Lolo’s coffin is in place and will be covered by a concrete slab
A monument similar to the one left and below Lolo’s coffin will be made