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For those readers not familiar with the term “old geezer” here’s what Your Dictionary.com says: “Old geezer is a somewhat insulting term for an older person, especially one who is no longer cool, hip or with the times. An example of an old geezer is a grumpy old man who sits on his porch all day yelling at neighborhood kids.”I don’t have a problem with people referring to me as an “old geezer.” The dictionary’s definition describes me perfectly. Frankly, I’ve never been cool, hip or with the times.

Although, I don’t sit on my porch all day yelling at neighborhood kids, I have shouted at shabu-dealing neighbors to turn down the volume on their loud stereo systems. Consequently, when I read that the Philippine government isn’t go to place senior citizens under house arrest in “new normal” areas I was as happy as a turd in a toilet bowl that hasn’t been flushed.

Walking into a crap stall

First of all, don’t you hate that. You walk into a stall at a public toilet, let’s say at a SM Mall, to take a crap and someone has not flushed the toilet leaving their turds behind. Never mind that you’ll never find toilet paper in a CR, Comfort Room, in the Philippines, at least now, with the COVID-19 situation, we should at least find hand sanitizers.

If I see one more public service announcement on television telling me how to wash my hands, I think I’m going to puke. I’m approaching 70 years old. My dear departed Mother instructed me on how to properly wash my paws when I was a young lad.

By the way, while I’m ranting, I’m also going to vomit if I see one more group of celebrities singing for the coranavirus cause. I hate those shots of all the publicity-hungry stars in multi-million dollar mansions imploring everyone to stay at home. The only thing worse than that is Nancy Pelosi eating $13 a pint ice cream out of a $24,000 freezer.

Image credit The Ringer.com

Old Geezers in Philippines Will not be Under House Arrest

However, I digress. The government will not place elderly Filipinos under house arrest in areas that will shift to a “new normal” this Friday, May 1, Trade Secretary Ramon Lopez said Thursday.

Lopez, in a message read by Communications Secretary Martin Andanar, said senior citizens may be allowed to leave their homes in areas that will shift to a general community quarantine.

“IATF is not insisting that seniors are under house arrest or will be house arrest,” Lopez said, referring to the government’s inter-agency task force which formulates policies on the country’s response to the coronavirus pandemic.

“This is just an overall policy presented to us due to vulnerability of the age segment especially during the quarantine period,” he added.

The government’s COVID-19 task force earlier recommended that those aged 0 to 21, and those 60 years old and above should stay home. Parts of the Philippines have shifted to a general community quarantine from an enhanced community quarantine.

Lopez said the elderly who are actively working or running businesses can leave their homes. Authorities will use an “ID system,” he said. While I don’t work or have an outside business, I do go out to buy food and supplies occasionally. However, my younger asawa takes care of these chores most of the time.

Other senior citizens who need to buy food, supplies, medicine, and ask government assistance can also go out of their houses, the trade chief added.

“Young Unemployed taking selfies…”

Let me close with a tweet from Philippine Foreign Affairs Secretary Teodoro Locsin Jr:

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1186434039571308544/JXSFGeL6_bigger.jpg

Teddy Locsin Jr.

@teddyboylocsin

Go ahead, house arrest seniors with disposal incomes—and let’s see how far the economy goes—one a half and flat on its face—with just the young unemployed running around malls taking selfies without a f*^king cent in their pockets.

You have to love this guy, especially if you’re an “old geezer” like me.

With reporting from ABS CBN NEWS)

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