Unearthly Quiet Settles over our Island Province

featured Striking San Lorenzo Guimaras Windmills 563x334 - Unearthly Quiet Settles over our Island Province

The kids are gone. Because our niece and nephew had to register for school yesterday, their summer vacation with us is over. The kids have been with us the past five weeks. The Annual Manggahan Festival has ended. An unearthly quiet settles over our island province of Guimaras.  Silence permeates our home.

Not that our niece and nephew were noisy. They helped out with the main noisemakers on our property, our eight canines.

Lolo’s Sexual Assault Charge against our Housekeeper

My father-in-law, afflicted with Alzheimer’s, stays in a nipa hut behind our house. Along with our pups, Lolo (Grandpa) also contributes to the noise levels depending on his mood. He was quite vocal yesterday as he was arguing with some unseen visitors.

The Healer in Guimaras

Even the local healer on the left couldn’t help my father-in-law

Lolo also threatened to file a case of rape against our new housekeeper yesterday. Our helper was merely changing his diapers. Lolo is incontinent. My 86-year-old father-in-law is certainly not in his right mind if he believes anyone is wanting to check out his equipment.

I jokingly informed my wife that we would have to hire a local attorney in Guimaras to handle our housekeeper’s case.

Furthermore, Lolo sounds like a distressed carabao whenever he’s inclined to sing. However, he can go for days without barely uttering a peep. Consequently, when his “batteries are charged,” as my spouse says, he goes on a loud non-stop talking binge for nearly 24 hours straight!

No One can sleep when Lolo’s on a Rampage

Hence, no one that is on the side of the house near Lolo’s nipa hut can sleep when he’s on a rampage. I urged my spouse to build my father-in-law’s house farther from ours.  Preferably near our front gate which is 350 meters from our house. She didn’t agree. We sleep on the other side of the house farthest from Lolo’s domicile. I can’t hear him with our fans and air con running.

He also resided with us at “The Farm” where he was extremely noisy and violent. As a result of his ferocious outbursts, he even punched me in the eye once giving me a black eye! On several occasions he had attempted to smash both my wife and I in the head with a rock.

The Tom Cat down on the farm in Guimaras

Captain Tom down on “The Farm” enjoying a cold adult beverage

Thankfully, Lolo seems to be having less violent episodes since we moved to our new home in the Philippines almost four years ago.

Unearthly Quiet Settles over our Island Province

Now it’s only our niece Shaina that resides with us. Shaina is gone during the week as she teaches at her auntie’s private school. She comes home at night. Our new helper resides next door and goes home every evening. The eight canines are quiet unless someone comes to our front gate.

Hence, I’m enjoying this welcome respite from the noise and the chaos.

The Crusty Old Expat doesn’t like a lot of commotion.

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.