Sanctimonious Silly Senatorial Ads

Bong Revilla 668x334 - Sanctimonious Silly Senatorial Ads

The onslaught of political ads for the mid-term elections in the Philippines has finally ended. Also, vehicles with blaring loudspeakers touting their candidate have stopped roaming the streets of Guimaras.

These annoying caravans would even pass by our gate setting our eight hounds howling. We live out in the “sticks.” Maybe reached about six people, a carabao, and a goat. Filipino candidates seem to use tactics that were popular in the States back in the Fifties.

Personally, if I could vote in the Philippines I would make a mental note to NOT vote for any candidate using campaign trucks with loudspeakers.

Traitors and a Talking Carabao

First of all, why do you even need 62 Senate candidates in the first place? Only the top 12 vote getters are going to the Philippine Senate anyway.

The politicians running for office included a former military officer who tried to overthrow the government.

He lost.

One female candidate’s commercial featured the prospect conversing with a talking carabao named Kevin.

Undoubtedly she got the carabao vote.

carabao at wonder farms guimaras

She won.

Sanctimonious Silly Senatorial Ads

Many of the ads for the Senate hopefuls included the candidate reaching out to various PWDs, Persons with Disabilities, battered OFWs, Overseas Filipino Workers, and poor people.

One candidate even went after the one-armed voters. Her commercials oftentimes featured a one-armed man with a wide grin.

She won. First place.

One candidate claimed he brought 1.2 million jobs to the Philippines.

He lost.

Many of the commercials showed throngs of people with smiling faces and outstretched arms greeting their candidate as if they were Jesus Himself walking down the street. I fully expected some of the politicians to actually heal the blind and raise people from the dead. Or at least turn water into Red Horse Beer.

None of them did.

The Dancing Number 16

One of my favorite commercials came from former actor and Senator Bong Revilla, Jr. His commercial featured a bunch of red dancing number “16’s.” That was his number on the ballot. I would have voted for him myself solely on the basis of that commercial if I could.

All the official results are not in yet. Bong ranks from Number 10 to Number 13 depending if you look at unofficial or official tallies. It’s still a close race for those spots and results could change any minute.

The creepiest commercial award goes to the politician who suddenly kept popping up into people’s homes. He only claimed to have created one million jobs in the Philippines.

He lost.

Another creepy commercial featured a young man with the candidate’s name cut into his haircut. This ad also showed a female supporter who had the politician’s name painted on her face.

He lost.

(OK, I’ll give the former Senator props, however, for having the most attractive young ladies in his commercials, many of them about 80 years younger than him.)

Pinoy Henyo Commercial for Senator Juan Ponce Enrile YouTube - Sanctimonious Silly Senatorial Ads

Screen Grab from YouTube

The 7-Hour Transmission Gap

I started to watch the election results at 6 pm this past Monday, May 13, Election Day. In about 15 minutes results started to come in. However, it took another seven hours before the results were updated.

There was really no good explanation for the delay from Comlec, the government organization that runs the show. Also, about 600 vote counting machines and 1,000 SD cards failed, slowing down voting for many voters.

Again, no reasonable explanation from the Comlec spokesperson.

The Senate is going to begin investigating the whole mess next month.

What Happened to the Well-Fed Downy Kid?

Well, at least I don’t have to put up with all the political commercials anymore now when I watch my favorite Filipino TV show, FPJ’s Ang Probinsyano.”

I can watch my old favorite commercials again. However, I haven’t seen the well-fed kid who pushes Downy fabric softeners in a long time. I liked the kid even if we don’t use Downy.

Video from YouTube

Also, it seems like a lot of the commercials on Philippine television features a group of people dancing. I guess Filipinos wildly dancing sells more stuff in the Philippines. I can’t dance so I don’t care.

Products pushing vitamin supplements and milk products for kids are also popular. The message I constantly get from these commercials is that your kid is going to grow up pretty stupid if you don’t buy them the product they’re selling.

Maybe some of the candidates that lost were deprived of these brain boosting products growing up.

Just sayin’.

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.