Crusty Old Expat’s Eye-Opening Exposition

crusty old expat

First of all, I’ve turned off the World Wide Web before I even begin this post. I don’t want this elucidation shaded by anything I see online. Furthermore, you won’t see anything from social media. I don’t subscribe to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any of the other conglomeration of social websites. Turned off and muted are all four of our televisions. Therefore, the parameters for the “Crusty Old Expat’s Eye-Opening Exposition” have been set. Let’s begin.

No “Royal Baby” News, Please

Above all, please note that there won’t be any inane babbling regarding the “royal baby” in this post. Frankly, I just don’t care. While I have nothing against babies, per se, aside from wailing infants seated next to me in restaurants, this whole “royal baby” hullabaloo doesn’t interest me at all.

Remember, any fellow Americans reading this, we fought a war centuries ago to rid ourselves of any vestiges of the monarchy.

LPAs on the Way  

In contrast, I’m more excited about two LPAs (Low Pressure Areas) nearing the PAR (Philippines Area of Responsibility.) Consequently, I was excited to see red skies early this morning, a harbinger of possible rain.

Of course I’m referring to the old adage, “Red sky in morning, sailor, take warning.” It’s been so dry lately that even the catfish are carrying canteens. We desperately need rain.

However, Tom Sater, the five-time Emmy winning meteorologist I catch on CNN Philippines in the morning, was off today. Tom always give a good run down of weather conditions in the Philippines. The guy even says “thoughts and prayers” when giving the news about weather disasters that have brought loss of life and injury.

Too many of these “politically correct” yahoo’s don’t even mention the word “prayer” anymore. Heaven forbid, we offend any atheist. (Did you catch that “heaven forbid” I slipped in there?)

Regretfully Tom’s substitute today didn’t even mention the Philippines and constantly yammered about weather conditions in China. Like the “royal baby,” I don’t give a rat’s hairy behind about China’s weather.

Crusty Old Expat’s Eye-Opening Exposition

When you get to be an old geezer like me you tend to ramble and get a bit grumpy. The hot and humid weather have been making me even more cantankerous (if that’s possible.)

While I haven’t gone out anywhere lately, I will be out with my asawa tomorrow to do the annual registration of our Ford Ranger XLT.

I’m not looking forward to waiting in line at the local emissions testing center. Thankfully, our license plate is loaded in the LTO, Land Transportation Office, data base now and we shouldn’t have any problems.

However, after almost ten years of living in the Philippines, you never know what red tape obstacles you might face.

Hopefully, we won’t have to wait two hours for our emissions test, unlike the two hours it took me to register for my Annual Report at the Iloilo City Immigration Office in Iloilo this past January.

Well, that’s all for now. Time to grab my cup of Good Day coffee and turn on the interweb to catch the latest news. It’s fun being a crusty old expat. Start your own blog and ramble on as I have for nearly ten years now.

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO" aka "THE CRUSTY OLD EXPAT." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.