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“Onward, Crusty Soldiers! Marching as to war! With the staff of ‘Globe’s Grand Gaffe’ going on before. “Dave,” the crusty expat, leads against the foe! Forward into battle, see his blathering go!”

With apologies to Sabine Baring-Gould, the author of “Onward, Christian Soldiers” and the Salvation Army.


O, how fickle this aging American expat in the Philippines can be. It was only a couple of weeks or so ago that I was singing the praises of my new Super Plans with one of the archipelago’s major telecoms. Now I’m at war with “Globe’s Grand Gaffe;” it’s a bothersome blunder of Biblical proportions.


Dear reader, you might think that I’m being over dramatic. “A bothersome blunder of Biblical proportions?” Look, when you reach my age, a crusty old expat in his sixties, any screw up you have to deal with can become monumental.

But why not look at the glass “half full”, old crusty one? I’m lucky to see a few drips in my cup, whether half full or half empty, Pilgrims. And I’m not referring to my enlarged prostate issues.

All I’ve been simply trying to do the past six days is add my new internet plan to our existing online account. I pay all of our bills online except for our utility bill with our local electric company, Guimelco. I figure Guimelco won’t have any program to pay their bill online for another 50 years or so. They’re still in the Stone Age.

We have two plans. A call and text plan, in which we were able to keep our same number, and the new internet plan, which required the establishment of a new line with Globe. Should be a fairly straightforward process, right? Not in my case.


I logged onto my existing Globe account. After going to my existing plan details, I was presented with the opportunity to add a new account number.

My options were “Mobile”, “Broadban”, and “Tattoo on the Go!”.

I chose “Door #1” in my first attempt using the account number on the receipt for my new internet plan.  Problem is, I didn’t have a mobile number on the receipt, this was an internet account after all.

So I decided to contact Globe via their Messenger option on Facebook. And yes, regular readers know I don’t use any social media, but my asawa occasionally logs onto FB.

Two days later, Globe provides me with a corresponding mobile number I can use.

Problem is, when I send for my verification code, I don’t receive any codes on the email I have linked to my account. No text messages arrive on the cell phone we already have with Globe.

My Account globe


As you can see by the above screenshot, I kept trying to have the code resent. However, I never received the code and had no idea where Globe was sending it.

I left another message for Globe on Facebook Messenger.

In desperation, I also called the Globe Customer Service Center and reached a representative who was even more clueless than me. After 15 minutes of attempting to explain what I needed help with, I asked for a supervisor.

Surprisingly, I was connected to a Globe supervisor within minutes. My previous experiences in attempting to speak to Globe managers resulted in waits of 30 minutes or longer.


I explained my problem with the supervisor, Pess, located in Cebu. Pess suggested I try to create an account with another email address and see what happens. What did I have to lose, I figure. So I thanked the Globe manager and went back online.

While I had high hopes of using another email account, my joy was short-lived. After setting up an account with a new email, I was asked to verify my number. A verification code was sent. And, of course, another verification code was not received.

BUT, in the process of talking to the Globe supervisor she informed me that our call and text plan, which we thought we had renewed a few weeks ago, was NOT in the system. Our old 999 peso plan was still in effect. Though Pess advised me that my internet plan was in place, the new plan for our existing line was still not activated.

The only way to solve that problem, per the Cebu manager,  was to hop on the pump boat and return to the Globe office at SM Delgado in Iloilo City. The crusty old expat was becoming even grumpier.

(To be continued)

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