Collecting Cow Poop in the Philippines on Valentine’s Day

cow poop in the philippines

I seriously doubt that many of my readers were collecting cow poop in the Philippines on Valentine’s Day. I wonder how many people all across America were doing the same. Perhaps some couples were celebrating Cupid’s Day by waiting in line for an hour (or more) at their neighborhood Olive Garden or Outback restaurant, stomachs growling, perhaps wishing they were alongside Captain Tom picking up poop. Then again, maybe not.

Captain Tom and The Sainted Patient Wife on Poop Patrol

So how do you collect cow manure in the Philippines on Valentine’s Day, or any other day, for that matter?

First, get some poop collectors, such as Captain Tom, and my lovely asawa. Make sure you have some poop bags on hand and the proper cow manure collecting tools.

the kano was the cow poop spotter

Have a qualified poop spotter on hand such as the crusty old expat shown in the picture above. This particular American in the Philippines is extremely skilled at spying cow manure and B.S. miles away. In this shot the decrepit senior is retrieving some bamboo straw that he carelessly left behind while moving a Ford Ranger used to haul the poop party to the site. The straw is to be used later to tie up the poop sacks.

Captain Tom scooping up cow poop in Gumaras

Make sure your manure handlers are skilled in collecting cow and carabao leftovers and do not have an aversion to the crap. If you have house guests like Captain Tom, pressing them into service for collecting cow poop is one way to encourage them to shorten their visit.  However, Tom,  took time off from his online graphic design business, Line of Sight, for this endeavor and actually volunteered for this duty.

line of sight

Line of Sight founder, Tom Collins, has done design work for General Dynamics, the International Space Station and Tomahawk Cruise Missile, Rockwell, the Space Shuttle and the B-1B Lancer, and Avondale Gulfport Marine, LCAC, Landing Craft Air Cushion.

Tom is a free-lancer available for web design, technical illustrations, manuals and other graphic design work and can be reached by using his website’s contact form available here.

gerry brought over a sack of cow manure

It’s always helpful to have volunteers like Gerry, our former caretaker at “The Farm,” seen above, show up in the middle of a cow pasture, to drop by with their own bag of cow poop for the cause. The cow manure is used by my asawa as fertilizer for the flower garden we have at our new home in the Philippines. My wife believed that the field we collected the manure from would have much more crap on hand but Gerry informed her that monks from the nearby Trappist Monastery had already descended on the field and collected a huge pile of crap of their own.

Of course, when brother-in-law Joery’s cow, Hulk, was around, we didn’t need to go on a poop-hunting mission. But since the Hulk’s demise, my asawa thought this poop patrol near our former digs at “The Farm” was necessary. I agreed, hopeless romantic that I am.

magnificent manure from mango land

You need to know your poop. The cow manure shown above is fine quality, dried out and ready to be collected.

fresh cow poop from Guimaras

Wet poop, shown above, is not ready for the poop sack and should be avoided.

cow poop with mushrooms

You might also have mushrooms growing out of a pile of cow poop. Captain Tom is shown in the following photograph taste testing the mushrooms. And no, he didn’t wash them off first.

 

captain tom tastes the mushrooms

A nearly full poop sack is almost ready to be tied up and hauled into the truck.

sack of cow poop from guimaras philippines

 

cow manure close up

Here’s a close-up look at some excellent, mint-condition cow poop.

truck full of cow poop in the philippines

Only a few more sacks to fill up and we can return home.

What a great way to spend Valentine’s Day in the Philippines!

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.

10 thoughts on “Collecting Cow Poop in the Philippines on Valentine’s Day

  1. Howdy! From Texas, Don’t you mean Cow Pies. Looks like you had a Great Valentines Day….love Guimaras island, wonderful place have been there many times.

  2. Dave,

    Good way to spend a Valentines Day, very inexpensive lol. Can’t believe Tom ate that mushroom. Besides growing in poop, could have been poisonous. But Tom being a vegetarian he probably knows his mushrooms.

    1. Well, Papa Duck, Captain Tom did not actually eat the mushroom. He identified it as, well, let’s just say, a “magic mushroom.” No mushrooms were harmed (or taken off site) during the production of this post. 😎

  3. Hi Dave, best stuff for your plants I used to pick up 15 sacks a time from my sisters
    Farm back in England in my truck, she even wanted me to ask the local circus years
    Ago when it visits our town have you seen how much elephants dump lol,
    That request was turned down by me , the mushrooms look nice sure do miss
    The large mushrooms I use to eat back home, Derek in pasig.

    1. I imagine, Derek, that an elephant would leave quite a large dump. Melinda swears by manure and has been using it for years.

      We did have some other type of edible wild mushrooms a couple of months ago, Derek, but I’ve never seen these cow dung mushrooms until Tom pointed them out to me.

    1. I know of an American expat that lives on the island who pays 10 pesos each for a rice-sack full of poop, Pantera. We’re fortunate to have an ample supply of the crap nearby.

      Thanks for the kind words, maybe the sun was hitting me at the right angle to get a good shot. 🙂

  4. People in some lesser developed countries burn dried cow patties when they don’t have any wood/coal. Just don’t use it for a cooking fire, it might add some unwanted flavor to the food!

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