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Thu. Apr 15th, 2021

Dog crap. No one I know particularly likes the stuff. I hate it when I step in a pile of it and get some on the bottom of my shoes. The fresh stuff is smelly and  harder to remove than the crap that has aged for awhile.  My asawa is always pointing it out to me when we take our walks through our subdivision outside of Iloilo City. I guess because I’m nearing the age of 60, she believes my eyesight must be failing. (Photo by jozexit from Flickr. © All rights reserved.)

However, when a canine poops in our yard, she is the one that cleans it up, and she’s never happy about that. My stressed spouse makes that fact abundantly clear.

 

Regular readers of this website know that I certainly do not clean up any waste products left by anyone, animal or otherwise. My asawa weeds and picks up trash and does a daily cleanup of our yard every morning while I pretend to “work” on this website.  We didn’t have the dog crap issue back in Guimaras, because there weren’t that many dogs roaming around, certainly not the amount of dogs that prowl our subdivision streets.

 

Sure, we had cows that routinely traversed down our muddy, “subdivision” road, and I can assure you that they leave much bigger piles of poop than dogs. However, my spouse did gather cow manure in Guimaras to spread on her vegetable garden so she didn’t mind picking up that crap. I ate those vegetables but always managed to keep the image of fresh steaming cow manure out of my head when doing so.A cow outside Savannah Subdivision in Iloilo taking it easy

Word is that stray dogs were kept out of our subdivision, but that policy seems to have lapsed. Not only is the dog crap a problem, but mutts that rummage through the garbage containers on our streets and litter our front yard is also an issue.  Yeah, you guessed it. My asawa used to clean that mess up, too. I’m fairly useless and proud of it.

 

We had one such trash can in our front yard (see next photo.) It was beat up and the plastic receptacle, which sat in a wire cage affixed to a slab of concrete, didn’t have a lid and was easy for the dogs to get into.   But that problem has been resolved by the plastic garbage barrel “mysteriously” disappearing. No can. No problem with garbage in the front yard. No unhappy asawa cleaning it up. Hmmmm, I wonder what happened to it? 

So I was walking across the street and depositing our trash in a can that sits in front of an empty lot. Some mutt got into that trash can, but our neighbor  Jesus cleaned up the mess. I’m OK with that, as long as it’s not my asawa (or me.) Now that trash receptacle has also disappeared. I’d blame it in on the friggin’ duwendes in our area, but I doubt they are big enough to haul away the garbage cans.

 

Adding to the problem is that some people living here leave their dogs unleashed. It’s not just a stray dog issue.  Or they walk their mutts and let them do their business in someone’s yard other than their own. Again, this is not something that pleases my asawa. She had not caught any dog owners letting their pooches poop in our yard until the other morning when she was on one of her two-hour calls to a sister in Manila. garbage in savannah in iloilo

 

I heard my spouse outside yelling to someone. I immediately rushed to the scene to see what the problem was. An older man had two huge canines on a leash, both in our front yard. “It’s ok, ” my asawa said, “they are only peeing.” “No, it’s NOT OK,” I bellowed, “let them pee or crap in their own yard!” (The dogs, that is, humans are a whole different issue.)

 

The guy just stood there saying nothing. I was waiting for him to unleash the beasts, but the man walked away with his two dogs in tow. I loudly muttered some trash talk and came back into our house. I looked outside my window to witness the clueless man  talking with our neighbor Jesus who was outside at the time.

 

Was the guy the dog owner or employed as a helper? Don’t know. I’ve been waiting for the “Dog Crap Wars” in Iloilo to commence, but so far no extra poop in our yard and no sight of the man and his two canines.  I know dogs have to take care of business, but what is particularly annoying that right across our house is a vacant lot where the mutts can poop.

Are there any dog litter boxes where defecating dogs can make a deposit like in Hong Kong? The next photo depicts such a receptacle with instructions in three languages: English, Chinese and Tagalog (for Filipina maids.) Can these litter boxes  be found in Iloilo? Are there any “pooper-scooper” ordinances in here? Wait a minute! I have to get off the floor, I was laughing so hard at that one! (Photo by byerlytw from Flickr. © All rights reserved.)

 

C’mon. Even if there was such a law, which I doubt, do you honestly think it would be enforced? My asawa and I could go to the land management office for our subdivision and complain about the situation, but why bother? We just rent the property and now that we don’t have a trash can in our front yard, part of the problem doesn’t exist anymore.

 

I might peek out our window if I hear a noise outside during the day, but my hearing isn’t good enough to catch the sound of a dog crapping on our lawn. I’ll leave that up to my asawa. I’m blissfully happy in my own little world and since my spouse took away my last “manly chore” some weeks ago, I’m not about to volunteer for dog poop patrol. It’s a matter of principle.”Dog Crap Wars.” Let’s hope the situation doesn’t escalate.

 

By The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 21 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Malinois called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people over the years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.

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