My Asawa Strips Me of my Last Chore!

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I don't feel as macho as I used to. It's not just my advancing age (I'll be 60 next February.) My asawa has stripped me of my last official chore at our new residence outside of Iloilo City. Back in the States I would load the washing machine, put clothes in the dryer, and fold the clothes. I would also load the dishwasher and empty it (though my spouse would often rearrange the way I had dishes stacked.)  I tried to vacuum, but since my skills with our Hoover weren't up to my wife's standards, she snatched that job away from me, too (frankly, that didn't really hurt my feelings.) DSC

I would cook my own meals for the most part since my better half preferred rice with every meal and some fish that stunk up our whole house when she fried it. Why sometimes I would even clean my own bathroom, I mean CR. Of course I took out the garbage (which I am not required to do at our new home, but do dump it when the mood strikes me.) But this latest job that has been unceremoniously taken away from me in my twilight years kind of hurts.

I have been relieved of water duty. Yes, when we do have tubig in our subdivision every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (anywhere from a starting time between 9:00 am-10:45 but always prompting ending at 4 pm), I was filling our huge water barrel outside our kitchen door, and two smaller barrels, one near our kitchen sink and one near the CR (Comfort Room.) I also filled up every available water bucket and  plastic soda bottles which comprises our emergency toilet flushing source.  But no more. As I turned on the main faucet in our CR's shower  last Saturday in preparation for the water pressure to be turned on, my asawa promptly informed me that she would be filling up all the water barrels now.

"Why?" I asked with a somewhat hurtful tone in my voice.

"Because every time you do it you get all the rugs wet." was her reply.

Now when my stressed spouse says "rugs" she is referring to something that I would call a place mat (see next photo.) These cheap 50 peso (1.15 Us Dollars) affairs are scattered throughout our home (back in Guimaras we used my old boxers or t-shirts by the kitchen sinks and CR and the doorway; I have banned those at our new home.)

 You might wonder how I classified filling the water barrels as a "manly chore?"  And rest assured, new reader, that I make very little attempt to be "politically correct" and proudly use the word "manly." Well, first I get to haul buckets of heavy water from the outside spout to fill up the outside barrel. My asawa, who started working on her family's rice farm literally in the heart of the jungle at the tender age of seven,  is quite capable of lifting buckets of water without my help. But I enjoyed splashing the water into the barrel, and if I occasionally missed my target, who cares. The barrel is outside.

But I guess the problem started when my asawa insisted on buying a hose from Ace Hardware in SM City to make the chore easier.  I plunked down 350 pesos (about 8 US Dollars) for one of the cheapest hoses I could find and started  filling up the outside barrel with it.

Trouble is when I took the hose and placed it into the barrel in the kitchen, the unattended hose would sometimes suddenly jump out splashing the "rugs" (place mats) on the floor. They would get soaking wet. If I would have just taken the "rugs" off the floor before I started my water filling chores, and replaced them when I was done (and had a chance to mop up the floor), I probably would have been OK.  But that would have required extra work and common sense, two things I have an aversion to at times.

So now I am left without manly chores to do around the home. Some faithful readers may recall that I used to be treated like a king and did not have to lift a finger to do one scrap of housework. Well, we're back to that status again. However, I did get out my screwdriver and hang up a pair of scissors and a couple of tools on the side of the wooden stand that our LP Gas stove top sits on, but that only made me long for the days when I had my "man cave" garage back in the States. I used to pretend to build stuff in there, had a wall full of tools, including my beloved 19.2 volt Craftsmen Rechargeable Drill with two batteries. Our DirecTV installer saw that drill, clearly impressed by it as he announced: "Yours is bigger than mine!" He had some measly 18-point-something inferior model.  I could barely control my snickering. He obviously had a case of "tool envy.") 

When we build our new home in the Philippines, you can bet I'll have a garage in the plans. I miss going out into the garage and pretending to be useful. We also hope to have running water on a daily basis that doesn't smell like sewer water and is only available three days a week (supposed to have that service in our subdivision within six months from now.)  Then my asawa will lose her new water refilling job, but rest assured she still has plenty of more chores to do. Me, I continue to sit on my rump every day and pretend to "work" on this website. It's not very manly or macho, but it gives me the illusion of usefulness. And I'm OK with that. Beats working any day!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF MY READERS FROM THE STATES AND TO ALL THOSE AMERICAN EXPATS IN THE PHILIPPINES. HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY AND THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO" aka "THE CRUSTY OLD EXPAT." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.

18 thoughts on “My Asawa Strips Me of my Last Chore!

  1. Seriously, what do you do with your time if you have no chores and no TV? I have slow days that I surf, but not sure I could handle this on a permanent basis without creating a serious drinking habit.

    1. If not for “working” on this website, Don, and spending most of the day behind the computer (aside from a daily one hour walk with my asawa), I would go loco loco. Some say I already am. 🙂

    1. You’re right John J, can’t afford a serious drinking habit at the moment, maybe once we get all the furniture we need for the new place there will be something in the budget for some more San Migs. Hope your mall gets built on time, we’re fortunate to have an SM City not too far from us. We get out about three times a week. Go stir crazy, otherwise.

    2. Thanks much, Paul. Hope you and all of the readers that celebrate Thanksgiving have a great holiday. Have some turkey, watch some football and enjoy the family. Thanksgiving was absolutely one of my favorite holidays back in the States.

  2. That Craftsmen drill is on my BLACK FRIDAY list. 40 bucks at Sear. I mean the 19.2 volt! Sweet. Today was Food, Food, Food. Tomorrow is “Get that Drill. Dave I really want that drill !!!!

    1. Forty bucks? I paid 100 dollars for my several years ago, Tom. You’re getting a sweet deal. Btw, a certain someone came by our house yesterday to call you, but I believe you were probably already gone for the Thanksgiving Day holiday. 🙂

  3. As a follower of RedGreen you should have a few rolls of duct tape on hand. Just tape a rock to the hose, it will never come out. If the ladies don’t find you handsome then they should find you handy. 😀

    1. Gary, I had a load of duct tape back in the States. Why I didn’t ship any of it over in our balikbayan boxes is beyond me. I need to get over to Ace Hardware and pick up a dozen rolls. That’s one of my favorite Red Green lines you quoted. The guy is a genius and my role model supreme.

      1. Dave,

        Alot of the stores aren’t waiting till Black Friday any longer. Some like Target, Best Buy, Macy’s, Walmart, K-Mart, Kohls opened at 9:00pm or earlier on Thanksgiving. Hope you and your asawa had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Wish you could have enjoyed a Turkey like us in the states. Be Safe.

        1. Some of the stores started doing that when we were still there, Papa Duck. I personally think that’s a shame. I think employees should have the day off to be with their families on Thanksgiving. We didn’t have turkey but saw a movie at SM City, “Tower Heist,” with Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy for 100.50 pesos each (2.29 US Dollars), and I sprung for some popcorn. Sure do miss those sandwiches made with leftover turkey, though.

  4. That’s a kicker there Dave. Got fired!! But I will be honest with you. If you had a job dealing with water at my house and your spilling it all over the place, I would have fired you too.

    Great post..keep ’em coming.

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