Best Oyster Bar in the Philippines! Like smoked, slimy, cheap oysters served by some smiling Filipinas? Jus twalk over to Lisa’s Talabahan (Oyster place) in sunny Guimaras, the home of the American Bonehead and lizards aplenty. Three bucks for about five dozen oysters. Lisa’s has a picture of San Miguel beer on the sign, and eats are cheap, so that makes it the best oyster bar in the Philippines for me! Plus, the shy crew at Lisa’s let me take their photo. Is it just my good looks or charms or what? Every time I am around a lot of Fililpinas here they just smile and giggle.
Do I have a “bat in the cave” (booger in the nose) that I have not noticed, or that The Sainted Patient Wife has not told me about? I have walked around all day with one hanging out (booger, that is), and she has not told me. I look in the mirror every morning and see the same aging mug. I know I ooze charisma, guess I just need to dial it down when I go out amongst the locals. It is a curse being a chick magnet here. Had a coworker back in America, Jay, that had the same problem. Women were all over him like stink on a pig. Back in America the only second looks I got from the ladies were the bag ladies (homeless street people, for my Filipino readers.) And maybe they were just checking me out to see if I had a cigarette they could bum.
I wish I knew what this animal magnetism is that I have before The Sainted Patient Wife guts me with her bolo one night while I am sleeping as the ceiling lizards are pooping on me. Maybe next time I better send our maid, my sister-in-law Marjorie, over to purchase the oysters. That lady on the left has a wedding ring, and I don’t want her asawa (husband) coming after me! The American Bonehead in the jungles of the Philippines. That’s me alright!