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A Crusty Old Expat’s Christmas Past

Once upon a time there was a crusty old expat that had retired to the Philippines. The timeworn goat married a beautiful Filipina 13 years his junior. They had no children though most Filipinos asked them if they did. When we replied “no” they asked “why not?”

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Moron Screws up His Internet Account

The Kano eating balut in the Philippines

The cancellation of the visit from our island province’s resident computer god saved me a few pesos.  Panoy, is known throughout the land of sweet mangoes, Guimaras, for his computer savvy. The tech wizard could have solved my problem with Globe quicker than a young boy can wipe snot off his nose with a shirtsleeve.

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The SM City North EDSA Expat Experience

crowds at sm city north edsa

“SM City North EDSA Expat Experience” relates our latest shopping adventure in the Philippines.  It was a chaotic shopping trip. I was almost convinced Filipinos in Manila had started their Christmas shopping early. After all, the Philippines has the longest Christmas season in the world and begins September 1st.

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It’s the Day of the Dead in the Philippines

jordan municipal cemetary guimaras

It’s two days before All Saints Day, or “Araw ng mgba Patay”, the celebration of the Day of the Dead as it is called in the predominantly Catholic Philippines, and observed by Catholics worldwide. My wife, her Mother, sister Alida and our niece Michelle traveled to Jordan Municipal Cemetery in Guimaras to pay our respects to relatives that have long since left this earthly domain. 

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New Year. New Property. We Purchase Another Lot in the Philippines

My lovely asawa at our new property site in the Philippines

New Year. New property. We purchase another lot in Guimaras, the Philippines, our home for the past five years. My asawa and I both wanted to add to the 7,020 square meters we already own and where we are building our new home. The land, purchased from the brother of the man that we bought our original lot from, is adjacent to our existing lot. The additional lot, 5,478 square meters, will give us a total of 12, 498 square meters, or 1.25 hectares, a little over 3 acres.

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The Annual Filipino Christmas Shutdown

electric supervisor

NEVER expect any work to get done in the Philippines during the last two weeks of December. It’s the Filipino Christmas Shutdown. The Philippines has the longest Christmas season in the world which begins in September, the first “Ber” month, and extends into the beginning of January with Three Kings’ Day. January 6. We have been waiting for an inspector from Guimelco, our so-called utility provider in Guimaras,  to check out my brother-in-law Joery’s handiwork at the nipa hut we are building for my father-in-law but it’s been an exercise in futility.

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Never Buy Your Asawa Clothes for Christmas

I love santas helpers

Lead Photo from Imgur  

Never buy your asawa clothes for Christmas. If she’s anything like my wife, you’ll end up going to a SM City Mall the day after Jesus’ birthday celebration and face massive mobs that rival the hordes of Hade. I kid you not. I would (almost) rather have each of my fingernails and toenails pulled out then encounter the crowds that my spouse and I had to deal with.  I had to navigate the crowded mall filled with morons that hypnotically gazed downward at their cell phones as they checked their latest asinine Facebook message and never watched where they were going. Crowded eateries that reduced us to eating at Pizza Hut (at Robinsons, our first stop) which is never packed out.

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Isuzu D-Max 4×2 Automatic Truck Was Merely a Pigment of our Imagination

Isuzu D Max

(Lead Photo Source: Eastern Motors Info)

No, it’s not a misprint. Our Isuzu D-Max Automatic Truck was merely a “pigment” of our imagination. I worked with a Filipino back in the States who would pull a Norm Crosby (for you old geezers out there) and mangle her English occasionally. One of my favorites was her substitution of “pigment” for the phrase “figment of your imagination.” Unfortunately our recent situation with our Isuzu salesman in Iloilo who told us the Isuzu passenger truck we wanted to buy was “available” was only a “pigment”of that salesman’s imagination, also.

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BDO Online Banking Has Finally Added Our Dollar Account

new bdo

I’m not a patient man. Ask my asawa. Ask any former co-worker of mine from AT&T. The older I get the grumpier and more impatient I become. Again, ask my asawa of almost 15 years. After trying for over two weeks, however, BDO Online Banking has finally added our dollar account. The process should only have taken five business days but after three emails to the eBusiness Service Center at Banco de Oro and one trip to our local branch in Iloilo (which requires a four hour round trip from our home in Guimaras) I finally can view all of our accounts online. BDO has no ATM in Guimaras where I can check our balances so viewing everything on my PC is extremely convenient.

BDO

Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons

 

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