Just another Day in Paradise

swimsuit beauties manggahan

It’s tough living in utopia. I don’t have a job where bosses bark out orders and raise my blood pressure. There’s no commute to work on I-55 where road rage incidents are more prolific than political speeches on Oscars night.  Yep, I’ve been on “cloud nine” for over eight years now. Now, it’s just another day in “paradise.”

What is Paradise?

However, just what is “paradise?” Look it up on Google and here’s what you get:

  • Heaven
  • Adam and Eve’s home, the Garden of Eden, before they screwed things
  • An ideal or idyllic place or state such as Utopia, Shangri-La, or Nirvana (not the band.)

“Tropical paradise” was listed as one of the synonyms for paradise.

The Philippines is definitely “tropical” but “paradise” it ain’t.

Ask folks over at that “cesspool” they call Boracay, which is still managing to show up on the Top 25 Beaches in the World List.

lots of people on the beach at boracay

The Routine

Nevertheless, I’m not complaining. My only real “job” is my official designation as “sexy pool boy.” Cleaning our backyard pool, making sure the right mix of chemicals are thrown in every couple of days, and occasionally sweeping off frog turds from the pool patio only takes about an hour a day.

After that hour or so “workout,” I check to see how many books I’ve sold online and log onto three different digital newspapers and have my morning merienda with a cup of Good Day Coffee.

I’ve already boiled hot water in the dirty kitchen for our two thermos bottles. That “chore” is usually done around 4:00 am. I wake up at 2:30-3:30 am and get up. My bedtime is 9:30 pm.

I spend the morning “working” on new articles for this website. If I’m not writing a new post, which isn’t very often anymore, I’m working on a new book.

While I was doing the morning dishes for a few weeks, our new domestic helper, has taken over that chore for me. Our new household assistant has been with us for over two weeks now and is doing a good job thus far. Having our helper on the job gives me more time to do nothing. My wife? She works just as hard as ever.

After an early lunch around 11:00 am, I take my daily siesta. After my nap, I usually go back to the computer and write some more until three or 3:30 pm. That’s if I’m feeling ambitious or don’t have some other function to attend which will start 60-90 minutes late.

I’ll eat an early supper around 4:00 pm, go back to the pool, and run the pool pump and then the water tank pump. At 6:00 pm, I usually catch the 6:00 news from CNN Philippines.

TV Two-Timer

I’ll quickly switch to “Pickers” on the History Channel if I don’t like the propaganda being spewed on CNN Ph. We’ll catch “Ang Probinsyano” somewhere between 7:30 and 8:00.

Unlike television programming back in the States that follows a strict schedule, one never really knows when their favorite TV program might start in the Philippines. All the networks seem to be on “Filipino Time.”

However, my Filipina wife and I are both losing patience with “Ang Probinsyano.” We’ve been following it for over two years now but we’re getting tired of the same old story line, Also, Coco Martin’s character, “Cardo,” is getting the shaft from his two-timing wife on the show, Alyana. We’re both ready to quit watching the show and look for something else in TV’s vast wasteland.

And that, dear readers, wraps up another day in “paradise.”

(The swimsuit models? Some local beauties from our annual Manggahan Festival in Guimaras.)

Author: The Kano

POST AUTHOR: "THE KANO" aka "THE CRUSTY OLD EXPAT." Dave DeWall, "The Kano", is the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of "Philippines Plus" in publication since August 2009. He is also the CEO of Lizard Poop Productions and author of the best-selling guide book "The Philippines Expat Advisor." Dave moved to the Philippines in July 2009 from Central Illinois with his lovely wife of over 19 years, "The Sainted Patient Wife." The couple reside in a rural province in Western Visayas, Guimaras. The small island province is said to have the sweetest mangoes in the world. They do not have any children but are the proud owners of eight active canines, including a Belgian Shepherd called "Killer" "Killer" has bitten five people in the last two years along with one goat and a carabao. "Killer" doesn't like strangers. Or goats. Or carabaos.