My 83-year-old father-in-law, Lolo (Grandpa), has dementia. From early morning to night he carries on a running conversation with dead relatives, particularly Fernando Gange, and sings gibberish songs that make Justin Bieber look like a genius. He can be extremely violent at times. The other morning he punches me in the face! The lead photograph shows the shiner he gave me. I haven’t had a good fight in decades. At 62 years of age I’m too old for that crap. And unlike Kim Kardashian’s fat ass, my shiner has not be Phot0shopped.
It was around 6:30 am Thursday morning when I heard my father-in-law loosening a piece of jalousie on his bedroom window. In times past he has taken a slat of jalousie and used it as a weapon, swinging it at people. I opened his bedroom door, he dropped the glass, and smacked me in the right eye with his fist.
My wife, hearing the commotion, quickly followed me and scolded her father. Too late. The damage had been done.
I truly wish the nipa hut we are building on our new property for Lolo is finished soon (the roof is going on today.) Although I know my father-in-law’s deteriorating mental condition is not his fault, it does not making living with him and his violent tendencies and continual conversations with the voices in his head, more tolerable. I’ve reached my breaking point with him.
Once our funds from the United States are transferred we will buy our new truck and stay in the nipa hut before our new home is built. After our electricity is hooked up at the hut, we will be able to sleep comfortably there with a fan. Lolo will stay at “The Farm” with our niece, nephew and domestic helper. Our caretaker Gerry is currently staying at our new location during the evening, providing security.
The shiner doesn’t hurt. I don’t recall having a black eye before though I did have a scuffle or two in my grade school days, many decades ago.
Was I pissed? Sure, but what can I do? So I wisely stay away from Lolo’s bedroom (my asawa informs me she always goes in there ready to defend herself, if necessary. Now she tells me!) My father-in-law has tried to stab me with a kitchen knife and has attempted to bash in my asawa’s head with large rocks on several occasions. He tries to punch our nephew and helper. I shudder to think what he would be like without the medications that Murray the Kiwi has so generously donated to us to treat Lolo’s dementia.
So until we start sleeping at the new nipa hut, where I will have a blissful sleep free of Lolo’s rantings (I get up between 3 and 4 am every morning now), I will try to make the best of a very difficult situation and make sure I always keep on the lookout for Lolo. He might be a little guy but he still packs a pretty good wallop.