From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Lola Tries to Shake Me Down
Heading towards the guardhouse of "The Orchard Subdivision" this past Friday when I spied an elderly, well-dressed lola (grandma) approaching me down the street. I was in the area checking on a possible site for our new home in the Philippines which we plan to build in less than two years from now. I also had heard this part of the Savannah Subdivision in Iloilo had water service 24/7 unlike the home we currently rent. 
"Good morning," I loudly greeted the elderly Filipina.
"Please give me some money" she replied with an outstretched hand.
"Wala! (None)," I responded. (I left my wallet at home. I was out walking around and taking pictures, not expecting I would be approached by a panhandler.)
Lola walked away muttering. 
This is the general area that I encountered lola. I doubt that she was a worker, unless she was on a trip to the market, and I do not believe someone that lived in these upper middle-class homes would be asking for money. But what do I know? Maybe the grandma needed money for their mortgage?
I finally reached the main guardhouse that leads out to the entrance of the development. I spoke to the guard for a few minutes and headed back home. It was getting hot and I wanted to return home and sit in front of my fan and cool off.
Met a couple of guys that were working concrete like my brother-in-law and crew did back in Guimaras when they built our new CR, Comfort Room, a few years back. The worker in the background is the one that shovels in concrete to the laborer you see seated.
Imagine my surprise when I spied a more modern piece of machinery down the road as shown in the next picture. 
Nobody was operating this machinery and all throughout my visit through the various construction sites in The Orchard Subdivision, I did not see any of these in use (I had spotted three altogether that day.)
Now you've probably guessed by now that the lead photo for this post isn't your typical lola found in the Philippines. When I searched in Google Images using the phrase "lola Philippines," I came up with this image of a well-endowed blonde from ebay who isn't even Filipina. This "lola" was modeling a Unena Sexy White la LOLA Tankini Shelf Bra Bikini. Good enough for me. I went with this picture.
And in full disclosure, if the lola I had encountered looked anything like this blonde bombshell, I would have ran back home and gotten my wallet and given her a few pesos to help her out. Just like about 99.99% of you guys reading this would have done, too, I imagine.
Good thing for the warning Dave. I made sure I waited until the asawa was well immersed into her facebook session on her laptop before I ventured into this article. That looks like a nice subdivision but you mentioned in a previous article that many homes were sitting vacant. Care to expound? Are they flood prone or did people just run out of money? Do you know if they are they for sale? Just curious as many expats (their asawas) may be interested in purchasing an unfinished house and sometimes they can be acquired for less than it cost to build. Sometimes distressed homes are available from the owner or the bank for various reasons, and can be completed to suit one’s standards. Nice la lola by the way!
If the Lola looked like the blonde from the picture you posted I think I would of given her all my money without thinking twice,hahahaha.
Typhoon Frank in 2008 wiped out a huge portion of Iloilo, Randy. Flood control measures have been in place since then, but at the time a good portion of Savannah, along with other subdivisions in the area, suffered tremendous damage from Frank. Lots of people abandoned their flooded homes and skipped paying on their mortgages. I can understand that. During the big rains that hit us a couple of weeks ago, my asawa noticed one area in our subdivision where the side street was flooded, but with the new drainage system that was installed throughout the subdivision years ago, it seems to have taken care of the flooding issue. I’m sure there are homes available through the bank. Our neighbor, a widow lady, is selling her corner lot and house for 1.5 million pesos, about 35,560 US Dollars. It’s a great subdivision with lots of amenities.
If my asawa wouldn’t be close by with a bolo, Art, I probably would have done the same.
Dave,
With A Lola Looking Like That, I Will Take TWO !!
Fearless Frank from Florida
Nah, she’s too white for my taste. I like white meat chicken and turkey, but I like the dark meat women.
That being said, I have added this picture to my “Hot Ladies” list.
White meat is a little dry, huh, John Jackson?
WALA! … I love it. With what little Tagalog (or Filipino) I know. I think I use this word the most.
I also say “Ano? [what]” a lot when people talk to me in tagalog. Then they repeat themselves. Then I tell them I only speak english. Its fun… for me.
“Wala” and “ano” just about rounds out my Tagalog vocabulary, Allen. And I, too, probably use “wala” the most. Good to hear from you. Take care.
Dave,
Those houses really look nice. I wouldn’t mind buying one of those if i was living down your way. That Lola looks nice, but have to agree with John Jackson, Dark meat is better. Have a nice day brother.
Allen, I’ve gotten in the habit of saying OO (adv. Yes) and sometimes even when I had no clue of what I was being asked. That’s gotten me in more trouble…
It’s a nice area, Papa Duck. Kind of living back in the States during the Fifties minus the armed security guards.
OK, lang, Randy.
Are those houses shown in first the picture, half duplexes?
Or do you get to own the other side of the party wall too?
I was also wondering about the monoliths in front of each house, what is the purpose of those? If you have a car where do you park it?
You purchase and own the whole unit, Rob, to my knowledge. There are some subdivisions near us that have attached townhouses, but I would rather own a house that is unattached. Many homes are close to each other in our particular part of the subdivision, but we plan to buy one or two adjacent lots. I can’t stand someone breathing down my neck plus my asawa needs room for a vegetable and flower garden.
Rob, I think that’s where Magellan landed…twice! haha