From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
American Expat Beach Bum and Babes at Raymen Resort
American expat beach bum. Or just bum? That description aptly fits me. Remember when "homeless" people were called "bums." And "informal settlers" were called "squatters"? If so, you must be approaching "old geezer" territory. Welcome to my world.
Being the official staff photographer for PhilippinesPlus for one day while visiting Raymen Beach in Guimaras, I had the opportunity to take a profuse amount of digital photos which I've decided to post today along with my usual snappy commentary.
Now if you've been a reader of this website for some time, you probably have guessed that the lead photo is not one of the beach babes I spotted in Guimaras. I've already used my supply of Filipina cuties in bikinis in an earlier post.
So here's the obligatory picture of the kids having fun swimming. That's nephew Sharwen on the left with the beginnings of a Jimi Hendrix-style afro, nephew Jorreal next to him, niece Michelle, little JalAmiel, floating in her yellow SpongeBob Squarepants inner tube and niece April on the right.
That's my beautiful asawa up next, to the left and there's the kids. April and Michelle are doing their usual stupid pose using the Filipino gang signs. One of my readers asked about that, but I'm too lazy to look through my comments to see who it was.
I'm a 60-year-old geezer that can't remember crap. I even put my boxers on backwards the other night and wondered why in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks I couldn't get my pee pee through the hole. I was too tired to flip them the right way.
But the girls feel compelled to do that pose in just about every frickin' picture I take of them. I swear, if I ever got to take a picture of them with His Holiness, The Pope, they would do the same damned thing (oops, sorry Your Holy Father.)
One more cute shot, I promise. That's our niece Shaina on the left along with my asawa holding JalAmiel. The next photo actually depicts someone on that beach that I think was possibly even older than me. I don't know if the poor guy dropped a contact lense or what, he was lying down for quite a long time. Too much Red Horse? Who am I too judge?
This is some red snapper I purchased from a guy whose fishing boat came ashore. Paid P150, 3.50 US Dollars, a kilo. Rhea, our server at the canteen, was kind enough to put the fish in their freezer until we left for home. My asawa fixed them for dinner that night. Good stuff. The rice we had with it even tasted good.
The beach resort in Guimaras has a henna tattoo stand. Henna tattoos are a form of temporary tatto. Henna uses a paste made from the powdered leaves of the Henna plant.
But don't expect to sleep in one of the rooms at Raymen Resort if you have a henna tattoo. They don't allow it. Could stain the towels and the bed sheets. One of the guys practicing this body art form told me that the tattoos he applies can last up to three weeks.
Here's one more photo of a cute Filipina who was chilling out on the beach. I did have one left after all. And what better way to close out this post on the American expat beach bum and babes at Raymen Resort in Guimaras, proving once again that it IS more fun in the Philippines.