From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
American Expat Beach Bum and Babes at Raymen Resort
American expat beach bum. Or just bum? That description aptly fits me. Remember when "homeless" people were called "bums." And "informal settlers" were called "squatters"? If so, you must be approaching "old geezer" territory. Welcome to my world.
Being the official staff photographer for PhilippinesPlus for one day while visiting Raymen Beach in Guimaras, I had the opportunity to take a profuse amount of digital photos which I've decided to post today along with my usual snappy commentary.
Now if you've been a reader of this website for some time, you probably have guessed that the lead photo is not one of the beach babes I spotted in Guimaras. I've already used my supply of Filipina cuties in bikinis in an earlier post. 
So here's the obligatory picture of the kids having fun swimming. That's nephew Sharwen on the left with the beginnings of a Jimi Hendrix-style afro, nephew Jorreal next to him, niece Michelle, little JalAmiel, floating in her yellow SpongeBob Squarepants inner tube and niece April on the right.
That's my beautiful asawa up next, to the left and there's the kids. April and Michelle are doing their usual stupid pose using the Filipino gang signs. One of my readers asked about that, but I'm too lazy to look through my comments to see who it was.
I'm a 60-year-old geezer that can't remember crap. I even put my boxers on backwards the other night and wondered why in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks I couldn't get my pee pee through the hole. I was too tired to flip them the right way.
But the girls feel compelled to do that pose in just about every frickin' picture I take of them. I swear, if I ever got to take a picture of them with His Holiness, The Pope, they would do the same damned thing (oops, sorry Your Holy Father.)
One more cute shot, I promise. That's our niece Shaina on the left along with my asawa holding JalAmiel. The next photo actually depicts someone on that beach that I think was possibly even older than me. I don't know if the poor guy dropped a contact lense or what, he was lying down for quite a long time. Too much Red Horse? Who am I too judge? 
This is some red snapper I purchased from a guy whose fishing boat came ashore. Paid P150, 3.50 US Dollars, a kilo. Rhea, our server at the canteen, was kind enough to put the fish in their freezer until we left for home. My asawa fixed them for dinner that night. Good stuff. The rice we had with it even tasted good.
This guy was soaking up some rays on Raymen. He wisely covered up his face from the sun that was beating down on us most of the day. 
The beach resort in Guimaras has a henna tattoo stand. Henna tattoos are a form of temporary tatto. Henna uses a paste made from the powdered leaves of the Henna plant.
But don't expect to sleep in one of the rooms at Raymen Resort if you have a henna tattoo. They don't allow it. Could stain the towels and the bed sheets. One of the guys practicing this body art form told me that the tattoos he applies can last up to three weeks.
Here's one more photo of a cute Filipina who was chilling out on the beach. I did have one left after all. And what better way to close out this post on the American expat beach bum and babes at Raymen Resort in Guimaras, proving once again that it IS more fun in the Philippines. 
PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT. Which picture did you like better? The lead photo with the incredibly sexy Justene Jaro or the old guy on the beach?
LOL. I really want to see who selects the old guy. I think you are right, maybe too much Red Horse for that guy.
You seem to have a really great family, and as with all filipinos so many smiles. I cannot wait to get back in early December.
Hey Dave,
That guy covering his face reminded me of the Facekini craze in China, check it out:
http://behindthewall.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/21/13391303-facekini-craze-hits-china-beach-as-swimmers-try-to-avoid-a-tan
Gotta say I much prefer a bikini over a facekini, haha.
Yeah, the poor guy seemed kind of dazed, Todd. I know that feeling.
Thanks for the kind comments about the family. I’m fortunate. They’re a great bunch. Hope December gets here in a hurry for you. There’s nothing like the Philippines. 
Thanks for the link, Lance. I, too, prefer the bikini look.
Yep, I was really hoping that I would be able to stay forever…but it does not look like it. Four years of trying to come up with an income that allows me to stay in the Philippines year round…that is my dream and I have not been able to accomplish it yet. Very frustrated with myself.
I did promise myself I would NEVER miss a Christmas or New Years EVE in the Philippines again…so I think I am on track for that.
Last Christmas and New Years Eve in Manila was the greatest Christmas and New Years Eve I have ever experienced. Especially New Years Eve. In Manila the ringing in of the new year should not be missed. Absolutely incredible.
Those of you that are living there, even maybe on limited incomes, do not have any idea of how envious I am of you.
Dave, as far as the “gang signs”, LOL, I believe when they do that it just means smile, pretty smile, or pretty or handsome. Not exactly the Crips or the Bloods. LOL.
I never knew what that meant before and I have only seen filipinos do it. So I asked a few filipinos, including my fiance, and they basically gave me the above explanation.
Heck, even the two year kids do it!!! LOL.
It would be a difficult task, Todd, to come up with an income where you could stay here year round. It’s not impossible, but it’s not easy. I’m fortunate to have had almost 30 years with AT&T and have a large enough lump sum payment which is affording us the opportunity to live here. My website income is growing each month and is giving us some supplemental income along with generous help from readers that have helped us out to buy beds, books, and aided family members here in times of need.
The increased website income (with some helpful advice from Bob Martin) is increasing as mentioned, and I will no longer have to ask for help from my very kind readers as far as donations in the future go. Thanks to everyone that has bought my new E-book and those have purchased the new “bundle” package combining the sale of both of my books at ten bucks off. We can purchase that new fridge with only five more sales. Once my Social Security kicks in, we’ll be doing even better.
I’ve never been to Manila during Christmas or New Years Eve but would like to do that in the future. All I can say is keep trying. There’s no “magic formula” that’s for sure. I would keep researching and never give up on your dream. I’ve got the good life and I know it and want others to experience how great life in the Philippines can be.
You’re right, Todd, that’s what my two nieces tell me the signs mean, also. Thanks for the input.
I am close, but not quite there. I do search engine optimization for clients and teach them how to get more traffic to their sites. I am actually very good at it.
But the problem with that profession is that you are better off owing your own assets. For example: I have numerous websites up relating to different businesses. We then lease these sites to clients like lawyers, carpet cleaners, etc..
This way we control the asset and if the client decides not to pay…any information related to their business is taken down and we then work for someone else in their field. It works well but I not quite there yet.
The old model was to build sites, get them ranked well, and sell them…but then you have no control over the site or client. If they want to stop paying there is nothing you can do about it. The new model puts the designer/SEO company in control. But it just takes longer and more money to get that model up and running.
You have to pay for site development, spend time ranking the site, etc.. But once you do and you can show the client that a dentist site is ranked high and getting good traffic the dentist is willing to pay a nice monthly fee to own that site.
After all, a well ranked website for a dental keyword phrase would most likely bring in thousands of extra dental services to that client a month. So it works well for both the client and us. It just takes time.
And this can be done from anywhere in the world with an internet connection.
But I also like, and do a little, of what you are doing. And I see somethings that you are doing that are very smart. Linking to a profile of a very cute filipina is very smart…if you are an affiliate for that site. Which you probably are. Do more of that.
Anyway, I am 49 and dearly wish I had done a much better job saving for retirement. But I will NEVER give up on my dream, because the Philippines is worth it. I love life there.
Looking at the pictures of your family beach outing, Dave makes me want to jump in the plane right now. Three more months to go and here we come Philippines. It will be my hubby’s first Christmas and New Years Eve in Pinas.
I was the one who joked about the filipina gang signs….but you will notice in one of the picutres one of your nieces is doing the gun thing/gang sign/”pretty” and your wife has her hands up in the don’t shoot me pose. Ha!
Thanks for the info, Todd. You are much more involved in SEO and a lot more computer-savvy than me. I have no doubt whatsoever that you’ll be able to achieve your goal. You’re still a youngster at 49. When I went to work for AT&T at the age of 25, I had absolutely no idea at the time that I would marry a lovely Filipina and end up retiring in the Philippines. AT&T made that possible and I acknowledge that.
And I had absolutely no plan whatsoever to start up a blog and my own website. Three years ago in August 2009 I launched my first blog, “The Rooster Crows at 4am!” I owe a big debt of gratitude to those that have followed me during those early days when I was lucky to get 12 pages views a day. I wasn’t making squat on the site or the subsequent “Lizard Poop!” But I was having fun.
But thanks to Rich Pawly over at Philippines or Bust, my Webmaster Supreme, who encouraged me to get off of Google’s Blogger and go to a WordPress format which he graciously hosts for me on his server. With some recent advice from Bob Martin I’m making more money with the website to the point where it will not be long where we could live in the Philippines without the support of my monthly income from my IRA (which has supported us from day one and thankfully keeps growing.) I’m extremely fortunate and I know it.
Thanks for the encouragement regarding the cute filipina and affiliate, Todd. While it’s not easy to make money from a website, some online sources say about 90% of websites don’t make a cent, it’s a “labor of love” which I enjoy. If it ever becomes like work, I’ll give it up. I know you won’t give up the dream, either. You’ll make it.
You’re almost there, Garf!
Thanks, Steve, for reminding me. And thanks for pointing out that to me in the pic. Man, I’m so old I didn’t notice that before.
Wow, you and me both Todd. I was in Manila last New Years Eve and had a fabulous time, though it had nothing to do with the city or fireworks (at least not the fireworks outside – lol)
Dave,
The Opening Shot is The Best, I Just Hope She Will Hold That Pose For A WHILE !
Surgery went well and I am Feeling Better Now !
Hope to see Ya Soon
Fearless Frank from Florida
Glad your surgery went well, Fearless Frank From Florida. That’s good news. Glad you’re feeling better and we’re looking forward to your return. All the single gals here are waiting too, I’m sure.
Dave,
Is it alright if we call you “old fart” instead of “old geezer” lol. Thanks for the many nice photos. Really a good looking family. Looking forward to meeting everyone there and eating some good and drinking some SMB’s. Will have all the things that you requested. No problem at all. Maybe we can make it over to Guimaras for a visit if there is time. Take care
I pick the lady on the left… Looks better to me than that photo of you laying on the beach…
That was you wasn’t it???
“Old fart” works, too, Papa Duck. Either term fits me.
Thanks for getting those items for us. We sincerely appreciate it. Thanks, too, from The Sainted Patient Wife and the twins. We’re really forward looking to meeting you and your special “G/F.” Hope we can get over to Guimaras for a trip to the beach. I’ll get in touch with the “Tom Cat” and see if he can’t join us. Take care and thanks again.
Good choice, Gary!
Nah, that’s probably me in a couple months, though. 
Hey, if nobody wants to choose the guy laying in the surf, I will. This so reminds me of what I WANT and WILL do when I arrive. And it doesn’t matter what beach!
He’s all yours, Randy!
My wife that has been here in Chicago for 4 months now is always giving the “peace” sign in her photos. When her and her friends would do it in Davao and Tagum I thought it was cute. Now I try to sneak quick casual shots of her but somehow she senses it and snaps into pose. I keep saying just be natural!
Exactly how I feel, Bret. It WAS cute at one time, but I, too, would rather my nieces would pose without the “peace sign” or “gang sign.”
I think your asawa must have quicker reflexes, however, than my nieces. I can occasionally sneak a photo in without the kids flashing any of those cute poses, and I’m an old geezer. 
First of all this was a nice article, as normal. I definitely pick Justene Jaro over the old dude. I’m not an “Old Geezer”, not yet anyway, but I hope to achieve that someday. Some nice ‘cool’ looking pictures. We are going to the beach tomorrow, maybe I can get a few pictures for my website too. I hope without the “gang signs” though.
I’m glad your site is paying off well for you Dave. Mine just went over the 2 year mark and still a bit stagnate, but Rich is helping me along too, as you know. We expect things to be looking up within a few months. I sure hope so.
Enjoy your trip to the beach, John J. We’ll be heading back in October. I think we have around 10-15 million birthdays of relatives to celebrate.
I enjoy taking photos whenever I’m roaming around somewhere and the beach is one good place to get some good photo ops.
Good choice on your part. I think most of my readers would pick Justene over the old geezer, too.
Good luck on your site. If it ever stopped being fun “working” on my website, I’d shut it down in a heartbeat. I’m sure things will continue to pick up for you.