From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Only 600 Will Be Served
My niece, April, was securing her necessary pre-employment documents required from the SM Department Store in Iloilo where she would begin work on August 31. She received her list of requirements last week, Wednesday. This past Monday at 2 pm she was to turn in those documents to the Human Resources Manager. That didn't leave her much time and with her Barangay Clearance still not in her hands, I was concerned she would be able to obtain her necessary paperwork in time. 
Our "hot" laundry lady had gone to the barangay office last week to save April the trip over there. As one of my faithful readers, Let, pointed out, it would have been quicker if our niece had secured the necessary document herself.
Our helper advised my spouse that the barangay captain had been on vacation. I could not believe there was not someone else in charge. The Kagaward is the acting Kapitan, as Tom Ramberg, one of this website's highly intelligent contributors, noted in a remark on the previous post. The captain's secretary promised the clearance that Thursday afternoon. But the afternoon and evening passed with no word on the document. I was getting agitated.
Early Friday morning someone came to our door. I heard our twin nieces, April and Michelle, speaking to the visitor. It was the barangay captain's secretary. She had personally delivered the paperwork to our home. In fact, she had clearances for both of my nieces!
The secretary left and I heard her having a little talk with Jesus, our next door neighbor. I quickly put on my slippers, took a 50 peso (1.19 USD) out of my wallet, and walked next door. The captain's assistant was surprised to see me and refused my tip. "Please take it," I said, "for all of your trouble. We might need something in the future." She nodded and shyly took the bill.
My asawa left with April that Friday morning to get her police clearance. Her tita, aunt, felt it would be quicker to go to the local police station to get the necessary police clearance instead of going to the main Iloilo location. The local station was located near our barangay captain's office. Our laundry lady met my wife and niece at the station and helped procure the paperwork in just a few minutes.
The Sainted Patient Wife returned home to let our niece gather the remaining paperwork needed. April was able to get her T.I.N., Taxpayer Identification Number, from the regional B.I.R., Bureau of Internal Revenue office in nearby Molo and went on to the National Bureau of Investigation, NBI, office to get her NBI employment clearance. 
I had read horror stories online about how long the lines were at the NBI office in Iloilo located at Fort San Pedro. I downloaded the NBI clearance form online and had given it to April so she would have that paperwork filled out before her arrival. Didn't help.
Sister Michelle had joined April at the NBI office only to discover the doors were locked. They were only serving 600 people that day and would not process any more applicants despite pleading from my twin nieces and explaining that the paperwork was needed on Monday for April's job. Didn't matter. They were turned away.
Now what? The office is closed on Saturday and Sunday. (To be concluded next post.)
I have never wanted to get paper works done on Friday here in the Philippines. Everyone wants to go home early for the weekend. I don’t blame them…so would I!!!!
Looks like a lot of trouble just to start a job. I think that if they have business hours, they should stay until then, no matter how many there are to process. It doesn’t surprise me though that this happened, not in the Philippines.
They have learned beaurocracy from the both the US and the Spanish and never forgot any of it, lol.
Hi Dave: Slow service in the Philippines and being turned away from government offices are the norm in the Philippines. To complete paying for the estate taxes from my parents’ estate and to get new titles to the deeds, took 4 years to complete with two sets of attorneys in Cebu City and Cagayan de Oro City. My older brother and I had to go through what April had to do, just to get our birth certificates and pay for the taxes and utilities that were overdue as my parents had passed away and the property managers ignored the bills. It took 30 days, just to complete the initial paperwork. After the 30 days, I had to return to the U.S. My older brother had to return to the Philippines, many times over to clear out all the bills and titles of the properties. You need so much time to complete any tasks. Patience is required while living in the Philippines.
Actually, I think that the level of poverty there closely entwined with corruption dictates a low level of trust in Philippine society as a whole. I’ve heard stories where people would put forth much effort to forge a single document or even steal someones identity just to make a measly P100. The more hurdles and paperworks required, the less chance of fooling the authorities. Philippine Logic!
Can’t blame them either, Gary. My “Friday” was Thursday back in the States. I “worked” four ten hour days and had Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. Now I can barely tell you what day of the week it is.
My asawa went to our Secretary of State in Illinois some years ago, John. She was taking the written part of her driver’s license test. It took her almost two hours but she passed it. Two employees stayed overtime one hour and kept the office open for her. Sure, they were probably getting overtime, but they didn’t have to do that.
I saw some workers in our subdivision a few months ago working at nightfall with flashlights putting in new streetlights. “Are you getting overtime?” I asked. “Oh, yes, sir, we’re getting 26 pesos an hour for our overtime.” He was happy as can be making an extra 62ยข an hour!
Ain’t that the truth, Mark G!
Unfortunately your story is so common in the Philippines, Roselyn. I can remember the hoops we had to jump through just to do a title transfer on my wife’s property she owns back in Guimaras. Five trips to the secretary that was handling the paperwork. We had only been in the Philippines for a month and my patience level was being severely tested. Finally after more excuses and delays from the secretary I blew up. “Bulls**t!” I said and told my asawa let’s go. We finally got the necessary paperwork our next visit. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this.
Sad but true, Randy.
Dave,
All you had to do is drink a couple of cold ones and you could have forget about everything and felt alot better lol.
Dave, learn to take a deep breath, say “bahala na” and exhale. Repeat, multiple times as necessary!
Dealing with gov office in Philippines hasn’t changed in the last 45yrs. Its still paying under table to get people to do work they where hired to do. Took my wife from 85 to 2000 to get title before I would let her build on property she had bought from her aunt. Had title and plot map but goverment could not find property in their books. One office even asked my wife to pay for a locksmith to open a goverment safe to check to see if paper work was in it because manager had went to states and was not expected to return and did’t tell anyone the number. Only in the Philippine will they ask you to break into Goverment safe so you can get your business done with them.
Hi George: Just to add to your comments in paying to make people move. In getting original titles of my parents’ properties to be re-issued, we had to utilize “fixers” to move the paperwork. The attorneys prepared the papers ahead of time and the “fixers” moved the papers inside the Register of Deeds Office. The fixers costs around $500.00 (U.S. dollars) in Cebu. Probate in the courts dragged the completion of the paperwork. The judges take their time. It is important that one does not lose patience as it will just give you a high blood pressure. When in the Philippines, relax as much as you can before enterring government offices.
Haven’t had a San Mig product in a couple of weeks, PapaDuck, but we’re headed to the best beach in Guimaras tomorrow, Raymen Beach, to celebrate our twin nieces’ birthdays. I suspect I might have a couple of cold ones then.
Going to the beach to relax tomorrow, Randy. Need a break from all of my “hard work” here.
Break into the safe, George? Only in the Philippines, indeed! My brother-in-law in Manila that was arrested for “frustrated murder” charges had his P24,000 bail paid by my mother-in-law, my asawa and other relatives that had to sell cows and caribous to raise the funds to get him out on bail. When one of my wife’s sisters went to pay his bail, the lawyer handling his case suddenly needed a few more thousand pesos to get him out. My wife’s sister refused. She finally went to several different offices in the jail complex and it took her all day, but she was able to get him out. Whoever thinks corruption is going to end in the Philippines needs to take another hit of whatever they’re smoking. It just isn’t going to happen.
Not surprised that you needed to hire some “expediter’s,” Roselyn. Sadly, that’s about the only way to get business done in the Philippines.