From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Big Breasts in the Philippines
Big breasts in the Philippines. Now if that phrase doesn't grab the attention of my male readership, I don't know what will. After causing some mental anguish for a few of my readers after posting a reference in my previous article involving wet dreams and Nancy Pelosi, I felt I had to try and redeem myself. 
While shopping at the SM Hypermarket in Iloilo City this past Saturday, my asawa and I took our usual separate shopping carts to begin our monthly grocery adventure. I fill my cart up with junk food while my much wiser spouse loads up on healthy crap. Plus, she also takes care of buying groceries for our nephew and three nieces that now live with us.
After several hours of shopping we always meet at the checkouts. Of course, I finish early. I'm only shopping for myself. That leaves me plenty of time to wander around the establishment which is about the closest thing a guy can find to a Super Walmart back in the States.
But one good thing about shopping at the SM Hypermarket in the Philippines is that you don't find the usual assortment of boobs that you might encounter at 2 am at your local 24-hour Walmart in Arkansas. You know what I'm talking about.
It's the guys who take off from the local Hooters bar and leave their pick-up truck headlights on while they're shopping. Then they go out and rack their brains trying to figure out why their rust bucket, with the "My son knocked-up your honor student," bumper sticker won't start.
I sometimes chat with some of the friendly sales associates and walked up to the Magnolia chicken station guy and remarked: "You have some big breasts today."
"Thank you, sir," he replied with a puzzled look on his face. I then explained that the Hypermarket usually has smaller sized portions of breasts compared to the SM City Supermarket where we usually do our monthly grocery shopping. He smiled as did his male co-worker standing next to him. I had seen a Magnolia chick earlier but she was not at the chicken station at the time.
But don't worry. I told my story when I arrived at the checkout where I informed one of the three male baggers along with a female customer assistance associate that they had some "big breasts" today at the Magnolia chicken station.
The guys doubled up in laughter. "Big breasts" they repeated and chuckled some more at my juvenile joke. The female cashier and the pinay helping the baggers didn't react. Don't know if they got the joke or not, but can you imagine what would have happened if I had said that at a grocery checkout in the States? Maybe the girls were thinking "what a boob!"
Of course I embarrass my asawa (again!) as she pulls into the same checkout lane. I repeat what I said about the "big breasts" and she just shakes her head. She realizes I'm a lost cause. Who says it isn't more fun in the Philippines?
Reading your blog helps keep me abreast of things back home!
who doesn’t like a big breast joke every once and awhile,hahahaha.
Dave,
Sounds like your having the breast time of your life there in the PI:)
Dave, I don’t recall seeing a lot of big breasts while traveling in the Philippines, of course I have never been into big breasts so I probably don’t pay enough attention. In my experience big breasts and big thighs have more fat and no matter if I am deep frying or cooking them in the smoker, they take much longer to cook.
dave
my last trip to the philippines was 23 years ago. women there did not shave their legs. having hairy legs was viewed desirable. is that still so?
Just don’t bust a gut laughing, Art.
I sure am Kenny P, “it’s more fun in the Philippines.”
Sometimes you can spot some big breasts at the KFC, Lee. I like mine “hot and crispy,” but will settle for the “original” if I have to.
Well, maria, my asawa and my twin nieces do not shave their legs. Whether it is desirable, I don’t know. My wife’s hair is very fine but my nieces have darker hair on their legs. I imagine my niece, April, will have to start shaving her legs, however, when she starts working at SM City at the end of this month. I’ve never really noticed any of the girls working there with hairy legs.
I don’t have anything to say…anything that can be printed!!
Sorry to hear about the lost of life in Iloilo with all the flooding.
The flooding hasn’t been as bad here as it is in the Metro Manila area, Gary. I’ve searched our local news feeds and haven’t been able to find any reports of casualties in Iloilo itself. The Inquirer News has some of the latest info on our local situation as follows:
“Nonstop rains brought floods and swelled rivers forced the evacuation of 15 families or 58 people in Antique on Tuesday.
Broderick Train, executive officer of the Provincial Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council, said the families from Barangays Sta. Ana and Sto. Rosario in Tibiao town in Antique were moved to the Sta. Ana barangay hall after the Dalanad River spilled over the banks.
In Iloilo City, eight villages in the districts of Arevalo, Jaro and Mandurriao remained flooded. At least 911 families or 4,555 persons were affected, but there were no reported evacuations, according to the city social welfare and development office.
On Monday, 66 persons were evacuated from Barangay So-oc in Arevalo town in Iloilo due to flooding. They were able to return home the next day.
In Oton town, also in Iloilo, 17 families or 45 people were still at Oton National High School and Central Elementary School as of yesterday morning, according to the municipal social welfare and development office.
On Monday, floods dislocated 66 families or 271 people in 12 villages in Oton.”
We’ve seen some minor flooding of streets in certain sections in our subdivision but our street’s drainage system seems to be handling the recent rains fairly well thus far. We’ve been unaffected by it in our immediate area. Do you have any links to those stories regarding loss of life, Gary?
The TV news last night reported one person dead due to the floods in Iloilo.
Sad to hear that, Gary. Our local media print outlets are a little slow sometimes.
Fearless Frank From Florida
Says- – - Breasts, Big and Small, I Like Them ALL !!
Dave, I am Scheduled for Hernia Surgery the 15th, Please Include Me In Your Prayers. I Hope that this will let me return to my normal life !
After I recover and get Physical Therapy, I WILL BE BACK !!
Hi Dave,
I was talking to my mother about the flooding and explained that I was in Manila two days after a typhoon the magnitude of Hurricane Katrina had struck. I told her that there was no visible evidence due in part to the fact that people here are self sufficient. I said that by contrast you can see people on the gulf coast in the US still waiting with outstretched hands after five years for the government to fix their problems. Who would have thought it was problematic to live below sea level.
Ain’t that the truth!
My daughter reports from Metro Manila (Quezon City) this morning that it is still raining hard. She and her roomies have been confined to the dormitory, classes have been canceled for the third straight day, and that they have been eating leftovers in the canteen. She hopes to get out tomorrow, but it’s still unknown.
Residents wade through floodwaters to return to their submerged houses in Marikina City Metro Manila August 8, 2012. Emergency workers and troops rushed food, water and clothes to nearly 850,000 people displaced and marooned from deadly floods spawned by 11 straight days of southwest monsoon rains that soaked the Philippine capital and nearby provinces. About 60 percent of Manila, a sprawling metropolis of about 12 million people, remained inundated on Wednesday, Benito Ramos, head of the national disaster agency, told Reuters. REUTERS/Cheryl Ravelo (PHILIPPINES)
http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/CuGZsY9Xbo6WPKcsOY0klA–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD00MTI7cT04NTt3PTYzMA–/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/Reuters/2012-08-08T063738Z_910101012_GM2E88814K001_RTRMADP_3_PHILIPPINES-FLOODS.JPG
Fearless Frank, I will pass the word on to Melinda and make sure everyone in the family is praying for you. We wish you a speedy recovery and looking forward to your return. Take care.
Good point, Tom. Filipinos are extremely resilient. Some of my wife’s family members in the Philippines had homes that were swept away in previous floods. They just get back on their feet, don’t complain and start fresh. The mentality of some Americans is to let “Big Government” handle everything and take care of all of their problems.
Things are certainly bad in Metro Manila, Monty. My wife has many relatives in the area. So far they haven’t had to evacuate, but we’re keeping in close touch with them to keep track of the awful situation. Good luck to your daughter and her roomies.
My favorite news program on “Talk TV” on our Cignal satellite system, Solar News at 6 pm, is giving us some good coverage of the disaster, Monty. The visual images are terrible. Water waist or shoulder high. Jeepneys floating away. Landslides. And the rainy season has a long ways to go yet.
We had tons of rain here. It rained hard for almost 5 straight days, but now the ground is barely wet. I’m happy that we live away from where the usual flooding occurs. I wish everyone that is stuck in the floods good fortune.
We had a lot of rain, too, John, but no major flooding near us, fortunately. Lots of sunshine the last couple of days however, and it’s getting warmer than a dog’s armpit.
“it’s getting warmer than a dog’s armpit”
Whatever works for you Dave, but personally I would rather stick my face between two big breasts in the Philippines, rather than a dog’s armpit.
Dave,
The house my g/f Anne lives in got flooded on Tuesday, but the water receded by wednesday. They had to all move to the 2nd floor and had to carry a 85 year old wheelchair bound Lola up to the 2nd floor. They lost there tv and other belongings, but everyone there stayed safe, which is the main thing. They got the whole place cleaned up already. I read that the water was all the way up to the 2nd floor in a hospital in Manila. Thats really sad. Dave to you enjoy embarrassing Melinda lol. Take care brother and have a nice day.
I’m not going to tell how I know it was warmer than a dog’s armpit, Lance.
I thoroughly enjoy embarrassing Melinda, PapaDuck. I consider it an art form.
Sorry about all the damage to Anne’s place. It was a terrible disaster, but I’m glad Lola and everyone else is OK. We don’t have any type of household insurance so if we ever got hit by a disaster, we would have to replace everything. Hope the rains hold off for awhile and everything can get cleaned up.
I heard a Filipino architect on the news the other day who stated that Manila is a model of how NOT to do urban planning. He said that suggestions he sent to GMA and the present administration have been ignored. If his advice would have followed, so he says, a lot of these flooding disasters could have been prevented. Do you know that all the major highways in the Metro Manila area were asphalted and all the manholes covered with asphalt and now the roadways cannot drain properly. At least that’s what the man said. Only in the Philippines.