From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Living in the Philippines: Three Years in “Paradise”
Living in the Philippines. Is it a paradise? Not at all. But the positives of residing in this archipelago of 7,107 islands far outweigh the bad. After three years of residing here with my beautiful Filipina wife, I thought this would be a good time to review the past months of experiencing the good, the bad and the ugly side of retirement in the Philippines. 
The initial excitement of retiring after almost 30 years with telecommunications giant, AT&T, and moving to a home in a foreign country has passed a long time ago. The jeepney and pump boat rides soon become the routine fabric of everyday life.
The novelty wears off. You realize you're not on vacation anymore. This is reality. And sometimes it is dark, grim and frustrating. But there are enough moments that make it "more fun in the Philippines" to offset those bad times.
But people who tell you that living in the Philippines is all "peaches and cream" with Mr. Bluebird perched on your shoulder singing what a beautiful day it is are full of crap. And a lot of it. Or they've been smoking too much shabu.
But let's start out with the "good," what I personally enjoy about residing in the PHL:
1. THE COST OF LIVING.
Despite the recent USD to Philippines Peso exchange rate in which the PHP is at it's highest level in four years, it's still cheaper for my asawa and I to live in the Philippines instead of the United States.
With four more mouths to feed, three nieces and a nephew, it's become a major strain on the budget. But with income from this website and generous donations from readers, which will enable the purchase of a bunk bed for our nieces, we're managing.
What can you expect your cost of living to be in the Philippines? That really depends on your location and lifestyle. One of my new expat friends, Scott B, who has been in Iloilo City for a month now, recommends at least $1200 a month.
2. PERSONAL FREEDOM
Now that the US Supreme Court has deemed it ok to jam mandatory healthcare insurance down every citizen's throat, I appreciate the personal freedoms I have in the Philippines even more. Here are just several examples:
- I can pee in public during the daytime in the Philippines if I want to.
- I can burn yard waste and garbage in my yard and no one says a word.
- I can ride any vehicle without seatbelts.
- I can ride on top of a jeepney or hang outside and stand on a back bumper.
- I can ride with four other people on a motorcycle.
- I can ride with 15 other people and a load of bamboo, 40 kilos of rice and 20 cases of Red Horse on one tricycle.
- I can say what I want without fear of the "PC Police" criticizing my every word.
Feel free to add your own personal freedom you've experienced in the comments section.
3. CELEBRITY STATUS
As Fearless Frank from Florida and my new American expat friend Scott B have recently learned, you're a celebrity in the Philippines. Sometimes you might even feel like a rock star as cute young Filipinas chase after the jeepney or tricycle you are riding in. And yes, that has actually happened to me.
Rest assured, my asawa, The Sainted Patient Wife, was not thrilled with the pretty pinay screaming at me in Guimaras as I rode in the back of our trike headed to the Jordan Wharf. She just shook her head in disgust and disbelief. The young lady was holding a baby. Maybe she was looking for a "Sugar Daddy." Wasn't going to be me.
Is it our white skin that attracts some of the ladies or the "ATM" they might see stamped on our foreheads? Maybe a bit of both.
If you are a single guy and have never visited the Philippines, again I ask the question: "What in the world are you waiting for?" If you're a convicted felon and can't obtain a passport, guess I understand, but for you other guys, what's holding you back?
Let's be honest, OK? I'm a narcissistic old geezer that's 60 years old. Even though I'm happily married to a loving and beautiful Filipina do you honestly think I don't like the attention? I don't think my friend, Fearless Frank, pictured below with some pretty pinays did during his visit to the Philippines. 
4. FILIPINOS
Another good thing about living in the Philippines are the people, the friendly Filipinos and Filipinas. Forbes magazine recently released a survey of expats that ranked the Philippines as the eighth most friendly country in the world. New Zealand ranked #1. Well, if all the Kiwi's out there are like my friend Murray, I can understand why New Zealand took the top spot.
That said, the warm and friendly Filipinos I have met in the last three years are some of the nicest people I have ever met. They'll invite you for a meal even though they don't have enough food for themselves or wave me over for a cup of coffee as I do my morning walks.
5. MEETING OTHER EXPATS
I've met a lot of expatriates, expats, from a number of nations. The vast majority of them, whether they be American, British, Canadian German, Australian, Russian, Italian or Spanish are a great lot and happy to be living in the Philippines.
It's been quite an experience meeting with these folks from different countries and backgrounds and getting their perspective on life in "paradise." I've been know to share a San Miguel Pale Pilsen or two with many of them.
While I enjoying taking to many Filipinos, it's nice to get a change of pace and speak to a group that understands all my slang phrases and references to the States that the locals do not comprehend without a major explanation. Ever try to explain what a "redneck" is to a Filipino? It's not easy. 
Next post will deal with the "bad," or "ugly" side of "paradise." There have been some gut-wrenching scenes that I've witnessed in the past three years that I've never experienced during my 57 years of living in America. It's a harsh life for many and certainly not a "paradise" by any means for them.
The author, Dave DeWall, is an online entrepreneur, which basically means he spends a lot of time sitting on his fat ass all day in front of a computer doing practically nothing. Pretty much what he did during his 30 years at AT&T.
Okay Dave, here are some other liberties that can make life easier (or harder) in the Philippines:
1. Anyone can buy you a beer and bring it to you. As long as they are old enough to cross the street and carry it back without breaking it, they can fetch it for you.
2. You can let your dog swim anywhere they choose. In the USA, most lakes are off limits now to pets.
3. If you literally want to jump off a bridge, nobody will stop you…really!
4. Jaywalking on a busy street…it’s your life!
5. If you can build it, you can live in it. No residential building codes to adhere to (in most places). Paint it any color you like – you won’t offend anyone.
6. You can play basketball on a busy street…just remember that loose basketballs have the right of way.
7. Load 15 people in a small Banca boat without life preservers and head to the open ocean – no problem.
8. Party at your house all night without fear of keeping the neighbors awake and breaking the noise ordinance.
9. Contribute to the delinquency of a minor – it’s absolutely your conscience.
10. Anything you personally don’t feel comfortable doing, just ask your house boy to do it for you! I’ll get done.
I see you’re up early….good morning! Is that a Freudian slip on your fourth opening sentence? Heh heh! This is a nice little summary of your first 3 years. If Phils. ranked #8, I’m going to look up the Forbes article to see numbers 2-7, just curious.
I’m usually up between 3-4 am Ice Man. Once that air con kicks off, around 2 am, I can’t sleep.
Thanks for pointing out my mistake on the fourth sentence. Doesn’t matter how many times I might proof read something, I still miss it.
I thought about adding 2-7 to the article, it was kind of long-winded as it stands. Here’s the list of the friendliest:
#1 New Zealand
#2 Australia
#3 South Africa
#4 Canada
#5 United States
#6 Turkey
#7 United Kingdom
#8 Philippines
#9 Spain
#10 Malaysia
#11 Brazil
#12 Italy
#13 Mexico
#14 Singapore
#15 France FRANCE? Is that a joke?
Excellent list, Randy, thanks. You’ve got some winners there. Let’s see. Which ones have I personally taken part in. Hmmmmm. #4 Jaywalking. Do it ALL the time in Iloilo City. My asawa hates it. I lift up the ropes surrounding SM Delgado, the one with the sign attached to it: “NO Jaywalking.” #5, #7, and #8 are the other freedoms I’ve exercised. More fun AND freedoms in the Philippines.
#15 must be from a “non-American’ perspective!
Must be way too many sheep in NZ!
I believe you are correct, Randy. The poll, conducted by HSBC, surveyed expats from all over the world. Must have been a lot of Frenchmen surveyed.
I traveled to New Caledonia (French) once. Talk about rude! Not as bad as Koreans though.
Yes guys it’s true. The majority of Kiwis are very friendly and helpful to overseas visitors regardless of origin. I wish I could say we treat each other same, but unfortunately we don’t. Please don’t get the impression that it is the safest place in the world to travel, like everywhere we have our share of bad eggs. There have been some terrible things happen to foreigners including a five year old belgium girl being raped by a 15 year old maori boy. It truly was a period of shame for the whole country.
Hi Randy, please illucidate.
Lots of Korean students in Iloilo City where we live, Randy. See them shopping around SM City a lot, but really haven’t had any conversations with them after three years living here.
Sorry to hear about that unfortunate incident, Murray, that IS shameful. I did meet another Kiwi mate a couple of months ago but his name escapes me. Friendly guy. Hope things are going well for you. Hope to see you in Iloilo again some time, mate. Take care.
Sheeesh! Now explain what you meant, Randy. I don’t think Murray got the sheep connection.
As a whole Dave, in country Korea is a different experience. I’ve met some Koreans outside their country and they seem more amiable. Try shopping in Itaewon in Yongsan-gu, Seoul, and people their will literally run over you, and without as much as an apology. It’s an accepted part of Korean culture I guess, but I don’t care for it.
Murry, years ago when I would visit Singapore, I would visit the bars outside the Kiwi base near the Sembawang Wharves. There was nothing more fun than throwing darts with Kiwi’s over beer, mainly because they did all the buying…even when I would lose. My money was never any good there. A real friendly lot you are!
Murry, I’m joking. My Kiwi friends years ago used to tease me that they had more sheep in NZ than good looking women.
My Dad fought in the Korean War in the early 50′s, Randy. I think they were just trying to shoot him down versus running him over. He was a flight crew chief. Man, jeepney drivers in the Philippines will run you down, too, if you don’t watch out. But they would at least apologize I bet.
Is that true, Murray?
Yes Dave, in numeric terms we sure do have more sheep than good looking woman. We do have some good looking woman, however the do not compare to our Philippine girls. “Once you’ve had Asian, you can’t do Caucasian”.
I was stationed there for a year, maybe I was one of those guys.
Dave,
Your right the good far outweighs the bad most of the time. Between you and Randy, pretty much everything was covered. Enjoying my vacation up here in Ohio. But the beer is not cheaper and just doesn’t taste as good as being in the Philippines. Looking forward to your next post. Take care my friend.
Papa Duck,
I’m stuck in Cleveland for a while. Where might you be?
Mark G.
I have some good friends in Ohio, PapaDuck. Lot of nice people that way. My asawa’s best friend from Guimaras lives in Columbus. I put her bio and pic up on Cherry Blossoms and she had 600 hits on her profile in two days. She had three guys fly to Hong Kong in one month where she worked as an OFW. Her husband-to-be made three trips there until she accepted his proposal. They a have a little son and are doing great.
Murry, I drank many a beer there between 1983-1987.
I lived in #15 for a year. My room mates were very nice!
Really? I didn’t know that Ruby. Well, my last name is French. I guess the French just have a bad rap in the US. If they’re 15th on the list, they must have some friendly folks. Good to hear.
Mark,
I’m near the Toledo Area where most of my family lives. Flew into Detroit from Florida. It is hotter than a witches T__ here last few days 100+. Had a bad storm blow through on Thursday blew down several trees in area. Take Care
PapaDuck, I’ve been following the news on the heat wave back in the States. How do you know how hot a witch’s T is, by the way?
Dave,
I am so sad that I left, In America I am just another OLD MAN. When I was there I truly was a Celebrity, and very desirable to beautiful women half my age !
Well, come on back, Fearless Florida Frank! I’m sure the ladies will find you just as desirable.
We miss you!
Dave,
Just an assumption hahaha. It’s finally cooling off today, high of only in the 80′s.
PD, I thought the expression was “colder” than a witches….?
Randy,
I think your right about that lol. Take care
Got one thing to add to your “Good” list …. and that’s the scenery, and I’m not talking about the Filipinas (although they’re always worth a second mention). I’m talking about the beautiful coconut covered mountains, banana trees and rice fields on the side of the road, beautiful beaches, and awe-inspiring waterfalls – that are very refreshing on a swelteringly hot day. The fact that no matter what dive you may find yourself in, you’re probably a 5 minute drive to a little slice of heaven.
So true BP! So true.
That’s what I thought, too, Randy. Maybe PD has had some previous experiences with witches he does not care to share here.
Good point, Paul. Even though we live outside the big city of Iloilo now, I can see a beautiful mountain range when I do my morning walks. Guimaras, our former home, is filled with beautiful white sandy beaches nearby. And yes, the Filipinas are worth a second mention.
Of course, all the good things just sound and look better when you see more decline in the freedoms in the West. Yesterday, a Phoenix man was sentenced to 60 days in jail after he refused to stop hosting Bible studies in the privacy of his home. Now I’m not a bible thumper, but this is getting ridiculously bad.
http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/man-facing-jail-for-hosting-home-bible-study.html
Should this not seriously raise the concern about the loss of personal freedoms? It does with me. I worry now about being raided at a home-based friendly poker game.
It’s just Getting Better in the Philippines.
Where does it all end, Randy? For a country that was founded on the expression of religious freedom, that attack on the Phoenix man is unbelievable. There is an ALL OUT WAR against Christians in America. It is a direct violation of the Constitution but is tolerated and encouraged by those in the highest offices of our land. The liberal media adds to the problem. I am extremely happy to live in the Philippines and look forward to greeting everyone with a loud “Merry Christmas” starting in September.
Dave, I only wish I was there already.
I bet, Randy!
Enjoyed reading some obsevations from your readers about what makes living in the philippines so enjoyable .All are true but one thing was missed .If your around my age (about 60 years old ) you might remember how we used to respect our elders We used to address the man living next door as Mr Smith…not Bob and his wife was Mrs Smith ..not Betty.Well…. in the Philippines they still have that respect that we have sadly lost.Small kids in the family line up to Bless me as a sign of respect as I enter the house .An older brother is addressed as Kuya…a sister as Ate aunts and uncles as Tito or Tita …The tv does not broadcast the smut that we can see in the west at 6pm every evening ……..OH, and somthing else i love about the Phils the smell of pork bar b q as we stroll along our street in the early afternoon….p15 pesos per piece …oh yum
I’m 60 years of age, Carrie, and certainly remember addressing everyone back in the States as Mr. or Mrs. or “yes, sir” and “yes, ma’am.” That respect for elders still exists in the Philippines as you noted. My nieces and nephews living with us now treat me with the utmost respect and I appreciate that.
And you’re right. No smut on the TV here. No nudity, not even on the movie channels. And pork BBQ, you’re paying P15 a piece? If you ever visit Guimaras, check out Lisa’s Talabahan. Some of the tastiest pork BBQ I’ve eaten, 12 pesos a stick. Good stuff. Thanks for the comment, Clarrie. It’s much appreciated. Btw, my brother-in-law is from Bacolod. He lives in Guimaras now. Great guy and a hard worker.
Dave,
I really miss ALL the Great food at Lisa’s Talabahan, and hope that i can return soon to eat MORE !!
dont tell my wife ..she”ll walk from Bacolod to Guimaras to save 3 pesos …. haha
Hope to see you again, Fearless Frank. Enjoyed hanging out with you. Haven’t been to Tom’s farm for awhile. Hope your baby goat friend is well.
I can relate, Clarrie!
Dave,
As soon as I address a few medical conditions I will be back to stay for a while !!
I just LOVED it there, after I got used to the heat !
Hope things work out, Fearless Frank. You’re always welcome to visit us anytime. And the heat? That takes a long time to adjust to Frank, but you get acclimated to it after awhile. Keep me posted.
Dave,
I just wonder what to do about the passport extensions that seem to be very expensive.
Unfortunately I am a poor American on a small fixed budget !
Get married to a Filipina, Frank, and have her sponsor you for a 13a Permanent Visa. You won’t have to get those extensions all the time. Other than that, I don’t see any way around the extensions. What do you other guys out there do?