From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
The 2012 Manggahan Festival: “Fearless Frank,” Sweet Corn Ice Cream and Pretty Pinays
The Manggahan Festival in Guimaras is always one big party in this rural province located in Western Visayas. This is the third year in a row I've attended the festivities with my asawa, and it's one entertaining shindig from start to finish. 
This annual celebration of the sweetest mangoes in the world (that's according to the Guiness Book of World Records) is the highlight of the year for this small province of just over 151,000 people which is ranked 73rd out of 80 provinces in the Philippines for population and 76th out of 80 for area. (sources: Wikipedia.)
The official sponsors of this year's festivities were Pepsi and San Miguel. However, Coke is king in the Philippines (the soda that is) and products from the San Miguel Brewery rules this archipelago of 7,107 islands. You will not see any other beer served at this bash. But I ask you, is there any other beer but San Miguel?
And when you mix beer and people together and add some loco loco Americanos, you're likely to find a character like "Fearless Frank" from Florida. The 54-year-old is on vacation and staying with our mutual friend, the former "Brother Tom" who now simply goes by the moniker "Tom." I am calling him "Tom Cat," (original, I know) because everyone in the Philippines has a nickname.
In the first photo you'll see Frank imitating a favorite custom of many Filipinos, lifting their shirts to reveal their bellies. Unfortunately, cute Filipinas do not share that tradition, unless you find yourself at a local KTV bar where you'll find more than bare bellies being displayed.
Actually Frank's stomach has shrunk considerably since he's arrived in the Philippines a month ago. He has lost 60 pounds as he tries to battle the heat and humidity. By the time he returns to Florida (he's extended his tourist visa to stay a month longer than planned) Frank's going to be thinner than an Amish phone book.
We enjoyed some sweet corn ice cream from a vendor at the Manggahan Festival. That's The Sainted Patient Wife on the left. Frank's friend, Giselle from Iloilo City, is on the right and was able to join us that day. My asawa and I both like Frank. He calls my spouse "the Japanese beauty" though she is Chinoy, Chinese-Filipino. My wife doesn't care.
And the sweet corn ice cream? Surprisingly good and quite refreshing on this hot day with temperatures in the upper 80's. The Filipina pictured below had an assortment of treats from Magnolia, one of the favorite ice cream brands of the Philippines.
Frank could be called a "chickboy." While the term has different meanings in the Philippines it is a visayan slang term for a guy that likes to flirt with females and is attractive to many of them. Here's the gwapo (handsome) American posing with some cute Filipinas at one of the numerous mango stands found at the festival.
Now Frank believes that I "blend" in here because I have dark hair and dark brown eyes. The misguided American thinks since he has blond hair and blue eyes he stands out more. I found it necessary to stop the ladies posing with Frank and ask them if they thought I was Filipino or Americano. "Americano" was the answer. 
Frank is pictured in the above photo with his preferred tricycle driver, Mario. Since Tom's farm is located quite a distance from the festival and any shopping facilities in Guimaras, a reliable trike driver is a must. Costs P10 each for a ride.
Frank, Tom and myself headed out to the "New Site" in San Miguel the other day so Tom could purchase a new fan. At least a 40 minute walk in the hot sun. Needless to say, we took a trike ride back to Tom's place after a stop at Lisa's Talabahan for some cheap food and cold bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.
Couldn't find a reasonably priced fan at CitiAppliance so we dropped by Madison Furniture located near "The Crossing" at the "Old Site," just a few minutes walk from the festival grounds. Frank had his picture taken with one of the cute Filipina sales associates working at the outlet, Judith.
More adventures from the Manggahan Festival in Guimaras coming up (the festivities run from April 15-22 this year.) Partying with the Peace Corps, the revelation of Red Horse's "Happy Horse," and my first run-in with a drunken/stoned local Filipino that I had to chase away from our table. Always "more fun in the Philippines."
Looks like a good time is being had by all!! Tell Fearless Frank he had better be carefull
if he ever settles down with a Filipina his “chickboy” days are numbered. I swear each new Asawa is given an extremely sharp bolo as part of their dowery.
You are right about that, Scott H. The “Fearless” One won’t be so fearless once he faces the sharp edge of the dreaded bolo. At the age of 47, my asawa still wields a hefty one and can split a coconut with one whack.
Dave,
Thanks for the great time we had during our vacation. Marilyn and I are still talking about it. We will have to plan our next trip during the festival it looks like a great time. Tell Melinda that Lourdes received her gift.
We had a great time visiting with you guys, Andy. Look forward to the next time Marilyn and you can visit us. Hopefully we’ll have a bigger guest room by then. Melinda spoke to Lourdes on the phone yesterday via the magicJack and informed Melinda that she received her gift. Thanks for checking out the website. Take care.
Did I read this right. Frank lost 60 pounds in a month. I know it’s hot and humid there but this sounds like something out of Ripleys.
That’s what he claims, Dave W. The nurses at the local hospital are very concerned about his sudden weight loss. He’s been having high blood pressure issues. He says he feels fine. The nurses are keeping on eye on him.
I went from 219 to 163 lbs. back in the States, but that was in a ten week span, a weight loss competition at work which I won. Believe that was around 24% of my total weight mass that I lost. I’ll have to double check with the “Fearless One,” however, 60 pounds in just a little over a month is a LOT of weight to lose.
Dave,
Looks like Frank was really enjoying himself with those cute filipinas. If Frank keeps losing weight he will wither away to nothing. Thats an awful lot of weight to lose in one month. He must not have eaten a thing. Looking forward to you next article. take care
The heat and humidity has really been taking a toll on Frank, Papa D. But he does go into the local hospital for a blood pressure check frequently. Don’t know if the cute Filipina nurses there are giving him an extra incentive to visit or not. And yes, “Fearless Frank” is attracting quite a lot of attention from the ladies. He’s single and available. Plus, he’s a nice guy.
Lucky Frank. I spend 15 days there and ate healthy amounts of food and gained 10 lbs. It’s not all SMB’s fault. So much for heat and humidity! Lots of photos posted on my fb if anyone is interested.
Sounds like you had a good trip, Randy. I lost weight when I first arrived in the Philippines, but didn’t take long for me to gain it all back. Now I’m cutting back, but with a trip to Raymen Beach in Guimaras planned today, I doubt I will be shedding any pounds on this beach excursion.
Dave,
Fearless Frank here, I think that you must have mixed up Pounds and Kilos. I lost a lot of weight, but it was only 30 Pounds !
Everything else that you have posted is true, but I think my Tanduay Rhum bottle must have hit both of us HARD that day! The Tanduay Products are all good and Really Inexpensive
Till I return…….
Fearless Frank
Thanks for clearing up the weight loss issue, Frank. I probably did have too much rhum to drink that day. Haven’t had any of the stuff since I saw you last. Well, I might have had a “few” bottles of Pale Pilsen, but I think The Boss would like for me to stay away from the Rhum. Does taste good, however.
Fearless Florida Frank says ” The Tanduay Rhum is Excellent and Very Inexpensive”
What a winning combination !
Tanduay Rhum can sneak up a guy, Fearless Frank. With Red Horse, you know you’re going to get kicked, but T-Rhum can catch a guy off guard.
But it did taste good in those mango shakes.
Dave,
Fearless Florida Frank Here,
I just got back from my Doctors office and he advised me to lose another 25 LBS.
If I can do that I will look like a toothpick but he will be happy.
To anyone that has high blood pressure, please monitor it closely because the heat will make it even higher.
Getting my vital signs taken at the hospital was FREE and the nurses were GREAT looking and VERY Friendly (if you know what I mean)
Kano
Frank
You will be a stick figure if you lose another 25 lbs., Fearless One. Yes, better keep an eye on that high blood pressure. My mother-in-law here suffered a stroke a few years ago, and we’ve had a few relatives pass away from strokes in the past couple of years. Lots of folks cannot afford the high blood pressure medicine.
Glad to hear you got along with the nurses. Guess it must be that charm along with your blonde hair and blue eyes.