From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
The President, The Hippie and The “Crazy Cano” in Iloilo City
Jeff, the self-proclaimed "Crazy Cano" was still showering as Fergus, his asawa Rose, The Sainted Patient Wife and I arrived 30 minutes early for the big guy's 45th birthday bash. Imagine! Appearing early for a party (or for any event for that matter) in the Philippines, a country which religiously operates on "Filipino Time." But I was in no hurry. I was passing the time with one of my best friends, aside from my wife, that was sitting in front of me; a cold bottle of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.
The birthday boy emerged from his home as I started on my second bottle of Pilsen. My asawa was nursing a blue T-Ice (her first of only two; two is her limit, unlike her American expat husband. I have discovered that many Filipinas are much wiser than their foreign partners.) Jeff asked if anyone would mind if he played some jazz. Of course we didn't. It would match the mellow mood. And who was going to disagree with the big guy anyway?
I believe Eddie, seen in the above photo, an American Filipino gentlemen that worked in the United States for 27 years, was our next guest. Friendly guy. Wasn't long before he was having a brew. However, for the record, he was drinking San Miguel Lite. I fear his time in the States had affected his taste buds which can only explain his desire to not partake of the far superior Pale Pilsen.
Jeff was getting continual text updates from Paul from Iloilo, aka "The Chief." He was already late. Now you would think that it would not matter. Again, as mentioned earlier, we are on "Filipino Time." Who cares what time you arrive? But Paul is retired military, like Jeff, and being punctual is extremely important. I wondered what could be keeping our mutual friend?
In the meantime, Jeff and Rose's cute kids came over by The Sainted Patient Wife (hair by Bambi at Ricky Reyes, SM City in Iloilo), and she asked me to take the next photo. Absolutely delightful children to be around. SPW is the Official Staff Photographer (an unpaid position) for PhilippinesPlus and took the other pictures you see in this post. 
As the San Miguel flowed and the pineapple appetizers soaked in soy sauce filled our bellies along with some chicken, Jeff announced that Paul was on his way. A bridge in Iloilo City had been closed and would be causing some delays. Paul lived some distance from his chief drinking buddy, but you could absolutely count on the guy to be there. 
Nestor (and I'm sure I've mispelled his name) made his entrance. He's one of the absolutely coolest guys that Jeff knows and makes quite a striking appearance with his long grey hair. He's 62 years of age and is a widower of five years. But he has a 19-year-old asawa now, so Nestor is apparently doing just fine. He's in the next photo (far right) along with American expat James, to the left and his lovely asawa next to Rose and Fergus.
"The Chief," Paul from Iloilo, finally made it sans his wife, Bing, who would be arriving at the birthday bash later. Their housekeeper had recently quit leaving them without any help. A 19-year-old Filipina who was supposed to arrive at noon for a job interview to replace the previous employee had been several hours late for her job interview.
The party music stopped just as Paul arrived. Another Iloilo City brown out. Jeff said Paul and brown outs go hand in hand. Fortunately there were plently of chilled beverages in the coolers. At this point of the birthday celebration, I don't think anyone really cared if there was any electricity or not. 
But soon there was a buzz in the air (and in my head by that time) when word got out that "The President" would be coming to the American expat's festive birthday celebration. The President? Yes, the president of the local homeowner's association of which Jeff is the Vice-President. He arrived later with his entourage, benefiting some one of his status, which involved his business manager and another gentlemen.
I apologize for not remembering the President's name. By the time he made his entrance, I had honestly lost count of how much Pale Pilsen I had consumed (and a couple of bottles of Red Horse thrown in for good measure.) He's in the next photo, and can be seen seated in the middle at the head of the table.
The power had been restored by the time the above picture was taken, and we went inside to eat some more delicious food. I'm not shy and went back for seconds. 
Here's the birthday boy, Jeff, doing a reeactment of blowing out his birthday candles for my Official Staff Photographer and standing next to Fergus who is loading up his plate with some (more) chow.. 
To the best of my knowledge, my asawa and I left the party around 8:30 pm. Fergus and Rose kindly gave us a ride back to our subdivision home (thanks again Fergus and Rose.) I can remember making it to our bed, but that's about all I can recall.
My spouse advised me the next morning that I had snored very loudy and also had forgotten to lock one of the doors to our residence. I had no aftereffects whatsover and had a great time with my asawa, Jeff, Paul, Fergus, James, Nestor, Eddie, the President and the rest of the guests. Thanks so much to Jeff and Rose for the super celebration. And Happy Birthday again to The Big Guy, "The Crazy Cano." 
Some day I hope that Calbayog is full of expats and retirees so we can have regular get togethers like this. It’s always nice to be able to talk to someone and not have to repeat it several times or wonder if they are just agreeing with you to be nice, but they have no clue what you are talking about. I’ve been hearing from a few retiree’s that say they will be retiring here soon, this year and next, so the time will come. I also hope to get over to Iloilo to visit y’all too.
Yo Dave
Just another party i see i missed out on agin!
Well Dave i have 25 more days of work before
retirement and soon after will be headed your
way.I have a little 26 old honey thats going to
be waiting for me at the Manlia airport with her
bags packed who has been working there from
Bohol (wish me luck on this one) and we are
headed for Bohol than Palawan,to outside areas
of Cebu than to Siargao Inland than to Bantayan
Island and if not broke lol by than maybe to stop
and see you buddy (trying to decide where to live) and if i want to live there.
Sure looks and sounds like you all had to much
fun haha
Bob in Vegas
Be glad to have you visit us over in Iloilo, John J. Lots of great expats here, our group is just a regular bunch of guys. We don’t try to keep up with the Joneses, don’t put with any buttholes, and do like our bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen chilled, and please try to refrain from serving it in glasses with ice if at all possible.
Twenty-five days to go, Bob. Man, that’s great! I remember counting my last days for Ma Bell, and I can assure you that I felt like I had just been released from jail on my last day there.
Bob, hope you have better luck than that French guy who threw a fit at the Manila airport awhile back when his Filipina girlfriend didn’t show up to meet him. Truth be told, could have been a ladyboy or a scammer he had been dealing with. You never know.
Come on over to Iloilo! Lots of beautiful Ilongga ladies (I know, I married one) and enjoy the good life in Western Visayas. Hope you make it over this far. And let me say, I’ve known a few American guys that have come over, and it didn’t take long for them to lose a LOT of money. Be careful, Bob. Those guys didn’t lose their cash to any robbers on a jeepney. Can you say “girlfriends” AND relatives?
Dave,
Pretty diverse group there. Looks like everyone was having a good time. Plenty of good food and adult beverages flowing. Really like the photo of your good looking asawa and cute little kids. Take care and be safe.
We had a great time, Papa Duck. And thanks, I really liked that picture of my beautiful asawa and Jeff and Rose’s little ones, also. Always have a good party wherever “The Crazy Cano” is.
Too much fun! I’m counting the days now until my lips meet that first chilled bottle of SM on our next trip over to Nueva Ecija! Dave, I sent you a picture of weather conditions here in Colorado this week, so let me reiterate: I am counting the days until tropical air and sunshine! Like John J, I hope some retirees find their way to Nueva Ecija so that I can have birthday parties (or ANY occasion, ya’ know?) like the one you shared at Jeff’s. Also, like John J said, it would be nice to converse in English once in awhile, too. Often I am left alone, drinking my SM by myself (sob, sob!), because nobody can talk to me or understand me. My asawa says I should simply learn THEIR language. Really?!!
Great picture, Ice Man, beautiful snow, but I sure don’t miss the drive down I-55 in central Illinois to reach my workplace.
I am extremely fortunate to have some good expat friends. Until my asawa and I met Brother Tom last April (returning next month
) I had no one aside from my asawa that understood my “Slang English” while sharing a cold bottle of Pale Pilsen. Now I can share stories that are understand by such friends as”The Crazy Cano,” Paul from Iloilo and Fergus without having to try and explain what I just said.
But learn the language? I just know a few phrases. Like I tell my asawa and anyone who asks, “I’m too old and too lazy.” Most people around here know enough English that I can get by. At least I’m honest about it.
Ice Man,
No worries i’ll visit you sometime from Quezon City and we can drink a few cold ones. Take care and hang in there.
I know what you mean Dave. I just had my first Kano meeting with a couple of guys yesterday. It felt good to be able to talk and not have to explain what I said. It was helpful that one of the guys is from Texas also. We were drinking coffee though, not SMB or Red Horse. I think they gave me an espresso. That stuff was potent. Some day I hope to have a BBQ with beer for the expats living here. Some sausage wraps with picante sauce sounds great, doesn’t it?
Yeah I don’t understand that beer in a glass of ice thing. The drinking of soft drinks from the bottle with a straw is weird and the sharing of one glass to drink your beer or whatever liquor. Do they do that everywhere or is it just the people around here?
And it was good to talk to someone without repeating myself or getting blank stares. I hope to have another get together soon.
Dave’s right Bob. Watch out for the scammers, they are pretty good at what they do and will suck you in if you are not careful. I’m not saying your “26 year old honey” is a scammer, she probably is not, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. I highly advice that at least until you get to know her relatives better, don’t move close to them. She may ask you to because Filipinos are highly family oriented. It’s not unusual for her to ask for some support for her family, but be careful not to give too much, too often. Dave has first hand experience of this as do many foreigners. I’m lucky, my wife has great relatives with good jobs. Heck they have had to help me a couple of times here. Of course while we were in the States and I was working, we sent plenty of money this way to help out. Filipina’s are great if you get a good one, and there are plenty of those. You just have to use common sense. This is from almost 32 years of being married to a Filipina speaking here. The same Filipina too.
As for a place to live, well Calbayog City is up and coming and we have not had a flood, earthquake, typhoon, volcano eruption, landslide or any other natural disaster in a few decades. And there’s free beer and coffee at every restaurant in town.
(Oh ok … that last sentence is fabricated)
But it’s a nice place to live and that’s the truth.
Where ever you decide to live we will be welcoming you to the Philippines soon.
Man I sure do talk a lot.
First of all, John J., I’m glad you finally met some Kanos, but what in the world are you guys doing drinking coffee? I shared some brews with Fergus on Nogas Island around 9:30 am. There are no rules here, my friend. Plus, one of the guys was from Texas?
Your plan to have a BBQ and beer with expats is a much better choice. Please, John, no offense to the Kanos you met, but go for some SMB or Red Horse next time.
Amen, John J, and let me emphasize a key word in your remark: COMMON SENSE. Let me repeat that. COMMON SENSE. I sincerely hope Bob’s 26-year-old honey IS the real deal. But let me tell you this, and John J, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Some guys come over here and go absolutely nuts. They think they’re in love, but if I may borrow a phrase from my friend Dave Starr over at PhilsFAQs more than likely they are in L-U-S-T.
Think it won’t happen to you? Really? I’ve personally talked to guys that have spent tens of thousands of DOLLARS (NOT pesos) on ladies that they have met in the Philippines AND their relatives in just the span of a few short months.
Of course, there are PLENTY of sincere, loyal Filipinas here (John J and myself and many others have married them) but just keep vigilant. Be careful. And please, use some COMMON SENSE. Don’t be one of those guys that say to me: “Dave, I wish I would have listened to you!” And I can tell you my friends, that is something I’ve never heard from my asawa, but I HAVE heard it from other expats.
Well part of the purpose of the met was to check out a new restaurant for the website and ‘supposedly’ they had a good ‘American’ breakfast there.
I will agree that BBQ and beer is a much better choice. I will do what I can to make that a reality, hopefully at least once before we head for Texas in late April. Don’t worry Dave, I’ll try not to disappoint you again.
I don’t know how to put the “Smiley” face in here, but, trust me, I’m smiling.
Got it, John J, I was just kidding you. I rarely have a brew early in the morning and would rather have a cup of tea. Smiley faces? Or emoticons? Check out this link.
I knew you were kidding, it’s not a problem.
Definitely BBQ sausage and/or chicken with the SMB and/or Red Horse, no doubt.