From the Central Illinois redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Only One Boyfriend. Only One Husband.
"WE'RE ON!" That's what my asawa, The Sainted Patient Wife, had written in a letter in response to her first and only boyfriend, Ariel. SPW was 23 years of age when she received a missive delivered to her by a relative of her new suitor. He had spied Melinda working in Nueva Valencia on Guimaras Island (he had a distant relative that worked for the same boss that she did) and was so impressed that he composed a note that the relative passed on to her. After over 11 years of marriage, I had never heard this story. I knew SPW had a past boyfriend, but had no idea that Ariel was the only guy that she claimed as a beau before we were married (she was 35 at the time.)
I was quite surprised that my beautiful Filipina had the single sweetheart. It broke my heart when my asawa told me she had heard the chiz miz (gossip) of fellow classmates that referred to her as "fat and ugly." Kids can be cruel, no matter the country they may reside. She told me that it did not matter what they said, "I AM WHO I AM" she declared to me.
My pretty pinay did reveal that in later years she became more appealing to the opposite sex and had many admirers, but only the one boyfriend. After Melinda's response of "WE'RE ON" was received, the young suitor came to the home in Salvacion, Nueva Valencia where she worked as a domestic helper. The chat only lasted a few minutes as Ariel had also come to Salvacion to attend a dance that he was attending with thw relative that also worked for Melinda's employee as she had to stay behind and do chores for her employer. Cinderella would not be able to attend the ball that night.
Five years, a birthday card, and two letters later in which my future asawa asked in one correspondence: "WHY DO YOU LIKE ME? I AM SO FAT." The boyfriend replied in a letter: "EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE BIG, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH." Ahhh, the young man was such a romantic!
But after five years in which the couple had not met even met again, Ariel, who was leaving soon for Saudi Arabia to work, penned another letter to Melinda and addressed it to her home in Guimaras, having no idea where she was at the time.The letter reached her in Quezon City where she had found a new job and lived with her eldest sister. Her boyfriend was in the Metro Manila are preparing for his departure and sent a message that he would be over to the sister's house next Sunday to visit Melinda.
Sunday arrived as did the young suitor with his cousin in tow. They chatted for only two hours as Melinda had to go back to her job. Before leaving the young man asked: "DO I GET A KISS?" "KISS YOUR BUTT!" was her reply. They never met and again and lost communication after that Sunday "date." Ariel went on to work overseas and years later Melinda had heard that he had married and had children. Their five-year-romance, which only consisted of two chaperoned meetings, was officially over.
My asawa's past boyfriend was from San Lorenzo in Guimaras. I suggested we take a trip there sometime to see if he still resides there or at least locate some relatives that may know where he is. Thought it would be interesting for him to meet the guy that eventually married his former flame. I think he might be surprised to find out that she is married to an American expat that has retired to the Philippines.
Smartest thing I've ever done in my life was to marry The Sainted Patient Wife. Second smartest thing I've done is move to the Philippines. For a 59-year-old American expat, I'm living the good life. I'm truly one fortunate guy.
I love happy endings!!!
Thanks, Gary!
Hi Dave,
Nice story. It’s good for you that SPW has no other husband to compare you to. I have a friend that is married to a former nun. I was teasing him one time saying that it must be a lot of pressure to not bad mouth the ex-husband of your wife. The threat of the proverbial lightning bolt should help to keep your mouth shut on that subject. I have a similar story with my wife. When she was in high school she had a boyfriend for a few years and they planned to be married after college, Long story short he succumbed to family pressure to marry a girl from a rich family and dumped Marie. So Marie went off to Manila and became a businesswoman. We were introduced and married when she was 45 and I was 42. I told her she cannot complain too much about her husband as she waited until all the good ones were taken! She used to regret that she never had children but now she says how nice it is that we can do what we want without considering the needs of children. Sometimes people are insensitive and say oh sorry for you that you have no children. I told her to tell them sorry for you that you have so many! I get asked all the time why I didn’t marry a woman younger than me. I actually have many replies. I explain that my first wife was 3 years younger than me and that marriage ended with her dating 19 yr old boys. Then one reply is that my daughter is 23 and she drives me crazy at times so why would I want to marry one like that? My latest reply is that I am a pretty boy and needed a sugar momma. I usually tell the cute young lady questioning me that if she wants to take a second job maybe she will have enough money to support me. The reality is that my wife and I are a great match and we compliment each others personalities. We don’t have the jealousy issues that many couples have since we are both mature. Okay; I am working on becoming mature with some resistance. We both are very aware of how lucky we are to have met and we tell each other often. We are always thankful for what we have but know that possessions are meaningless without a partner. When we were introduced my wife had a nice house, car, and was stable financially. She told me that she would easily give those things up for a chance to be married. I believed her and I still feel like she was totally sincere after 5 years. I asked her the other day if there was anything that I said in our early relationship that was untrue or exagerrated? She said she cannot think of anything. So that means that she still believes that I am a retired porn star, astronaut, brain surgeon, ninja assasian, and former quarterback for the New York Jets!
What a great story, Tom!
Comments like yours make my day.
My wife and I have no children, either. I cannot tell you the countless times we’ve been asked the question since moving to the Philippines two years ago. “OH, YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN. WHY IS THAT?” I have to go through the whole “MY WIFE HAD ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE CHANGE OF LIFE, MENOPAUSE, WHEN WE GOT MARRIED” routine. I tire of having that question asked by 99.99% of new people we encounter. (My wife was 35 when we got married over 11 years ago.) Maybe I should have my answer printed out on a business card so that I can just hand it out.
Tom, you’re one funny guy! I didn’t think to tell my wife that I had any of the professions that you claim to have.
Dave,
I enjoy reading your blog everyday with my morning coffee. To me you are one of the few writers that doesn’t glorify themselves or hold themselves up above everyone else. I want to extend an open invitation to you and your wife to come visit us sometime in General Santos City. All you have to do is get here and we will take care of everything else. Yes that includes the sponsorship of the warm Gold Eagle in the dirty glass. We have a guest room with air conditioning if that is what you require. So if you feel so inclined look up a promo flight on Cebu Pacific and let us know when you guys are coming! I think SPW will really like Marie as they are both Illonga beauties!
Dave, Tom,
Both of you have very good stories, very funny and enjoyable to read. My G/F who lives in Bataan understands i can’t have children because i was clipped years ago and is fine with that. The main thing is that we love each other. BTW she has her 7 year old neice that lives with her and is supporting her and helping her with her schooling, so that keeps her busy along with her Internet Cafe. Would love to drink a few cold ones with both of you sometime when i move there in 2014. Take care and be safe.
Thanks so much, Tom, for the kind words and the offer. I would find it hard to pass up some warm Gold Eagle in a dirty glass along with a guest room with air con.
The Sainted Patient Wife and I would love to meet you both. We’ve never been to Gen San, but I think a trip is in order. I’m hoping for sometime in October or November. Fiesta month is in September and once that’s over we should have some time to travel. I’ll be in touch. Oh, by the way, if you and the other readers that are on Facebook, I’ve had to discontinue my account due to some privacy issues. Thanks, again.
Be glad to meet you, Papa Duck. I’m sure Tom and I are both here for the long haul. What’s a few more years (well, I do hope they pass by quickly for you.) Good to hear about your G/F taking care of her niece, that’s certainly the Filipino way. See you in a few.
Hi Dave..fun read about your Wife’s past love life…and oh!, happy that face book is not longer linked or on this web site of yours….Not sure if you knew this..but when you was linked to Facebook..your page would not load right have of the time and part of that was the ugley Face book link…not sure why but no that was what is was……I know a couple of the other sites that have Face book plastered all over them..do the same as this site of yours did there for a while….the reason I think it had something to do with Face book is because before you linked up with Facebook…your site loaded fine..the comment section loaded fine and as soon as Facebook got intergrated into this web site of yours..then it was not the same…now that Facebook is gone..the page for me loads great…..so I am happy Facebook is gone….that is a given…..on my end.
Hi, Dan, well, I’m really glad to know that the page is loading faster for you. If I would have known that Facebook link was causing problems, I would have dumped it a long ago. I honestly don’t miss Facebook one bit. There’s only so many baby and pet pics I can handle.
I’ve also done some tweaking on the site the last few weeks with a new streamlined theme and have been using a free service which analyzes my page loading speeding. I was getting grades of “D’s” before for load time, but now I’m getting “A’s” and “B’s.” Though I might be on Filipino Time here, I know all of my readers don’t have that luxury. Thanks for the report, I appreciate it.
Dave, I never had any problems loading your site due to Facebook, on either IE or Firefox. But everyone’s computer is different depending on the setup.
Ok, thanks for the info, Lance. I appreciate the input. If I can get the site to load faster, that’s always a plus, but like you say, everyone has different computers and different browsers they use.
Thanks for the great story about Melinda. My asawa’s past also included just one boyfriend, but unfortunately, it went beyond a couple of chaperoned dates. When I married Vilma, I became a stepfather to her beautiful daughter. People constantly ask us, too, why we didn’t have a baby. I simply point to my stepdaughter and say, “She’s right there!”
It leaves them confused and speechless.
You’ve got a good answer for them, Monty the “Ice” Man. I know people are just curious, but I know the question about why you don’t have children bothers my wife. Oh, by the way, I have it on good authority that you are celebrating a 60th birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I would love to give you a fantastic present, but I’m working on that. Have a great one!
hi dave
my husband and i have been married for 12 yrs and chose not to have children. we were both certainly capable of having them when we met and still are. when asked why we dont have children, we reply “we enjoy each other so much, why ruine it?”
Good answer, Maria!
Hey Dave, me again. I was wondering what that ‘free’ service was that you are using to analyze your page loading speed? Mine could use some speeding up too.
I don’t have a problem with my Facebook, that I know of, but I don’t use it very much. It seems to be more of a young person thing. I’m only young in mind and heart, not in body.
A vacation some place, any place sounds good. I’m sure I won’t be able to swing anything until after Christmas though. Both of our birthdays are in January, so maybe we will do something then. A trip to Korea still sounds good, but there is probably snow in January there.
Here’s the LINK for that service that will analyze your page speed, John.
A vacation sounds great. I’ll be visiting my Dad in the States next year for his 80th birthday, but we’re going to just do some visits to our local beaches in Guimaras in the meantime.