From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
American Expat Brother Tom Returning to America
My new best friend, American expat Brother Tom, is going back to the United States next month. I received the news via my asawa who got it from a text message from her relative Lyn Lyn. In the Philippines, a text message seems to be the most popular and cheapest form of communication. My Internet connection with Smart Bro provides me with my latest updates on the national and international level, but when it comes down to the latest local "chismis" (gossip), text messages from relatives and friends are a valuable source of such information. 
Tom came over the other day to share a few bottles of San Miguel with me and verified the message from Lyn Lyn. My expat friend will be leaving in late July and will not be returning to the Philippines until March of 2012. He has some personal matters to attend to, but he will be coming back to the Trappist Monastery in Guimaras where he will continue his duties as an oblate (lay person) in addition to the countless other functions he performs there.
Brother Tom has another date with Lyn Lyn scheduled for today (Sunday) and plans to keep in touch with the pretty pinay via Facebook; she doesn't have a Smart Bro connection like I do, but will be able to access the local Internet cafes. I'm going to miss my American expat friend. We joked about how I could converse with the Mormon missionary guys that always seem to roam SM City in Iloilo, but we both agreed while they are a group of nice guys, they're too rigid for us and can't share the occasional bottle of San Miguel Pale Pilsen with us.
Tom and I are planning to travel to one of the local beach resorts in Guimaras and do some pen-and-ink sketches. I haven't drawn for years, but Brother Tom does graphic design for the products sold at the Trappist Monastery and loves to draw. I haven't sketched anything in years, so I don't know how my "masterpiece" will turn out. I'm sure there will be plenty of bottles of Gold Eagle, my expat friend's favorite (and cheapest) brew, so the consumption of said beer may affect my work adversely. But I'm sure we'll have some fun sharing stories about life back in the States. And just maybe we'll got some drawing done!
So you scared the poor man back to the States Dave? Matchmakers tend to do that to guys.
Ahhh, Gary, he was planning to return to the States for a visit anyway. The Monastery is picking up the tab for his round-trip ticket.
Hi Dave, sorry to hear brother Tom has pressing business back in the states, but the good news is he will be back next year. In the meantime your welcome to stop by my place in Iloilo and have a few SMB's
. I will be out of town for a few days for a real American 4th of July party with an old shipmate and his family in Subic the 3rd to the 7th. But other than that the calendar looks pretty clear for the month as usual. Was thinking of making a couple day trip to Villia Igang next month to get out of the city and relax. Just text me on your next Hypermarket run, I live right up the street from there.
Paul in Iloilo
Thanks, Paul. We should be making our shopping trip to Iloilo the first week of July. Hmmm, that looks like when you might be in Subic. Well, I’ll just have to bring Tom along after you get back and we’ll stop by to visit and share a few of those SMB’s. I’ll send you a text, looking forward to meeting you. I’ll miss good ol’ Brother Tom, he’s quite a character, but yep, the good news is that he will be back.
Looking forward to your visit, Alan. Well, no Jollibee or McDonald’s in Guimaras, but Iloilo has plenty. Life in the province is the life for me buddy. Where else can you can look out your window and see chickens and roosters in the front yard, goats eating your asawa’s flowers (those *!*%%&!!** goats) and cows munching on some grass?
I'll look forward to meeting you and brother Tom next month. Since it will be awhile until he will be back, maybe a trip to the Moon or Stanleys (a talibahn in Villia Beach) would be in order. Will set it up with you when I return from Subic so we can go first class with my driver.
Paul in Iloilo
A trip to the Moon cafe sounds great, Paul. Wow! First class, thanks!
Hi Alan, Well if you decide to come down here to Iloilo I'd be happy to give you the 25 cents tour of Iloilo and will leave Guimeras to Dave. Getting back and forth between Iloilo and Guimeras is easy, fast and real cheap. Dave's right about there being a bunch of Jolibee's and Mc Donalds here in Iloilo. In addition if momma likes fastfood we have Greenwich, Chowkings and evan a Max's here. In addition to a bunch of nice and not too expensive resturants :http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g298466-Iloilo_City_Panay_Island_Visayas.html Besides 5 major new shopping malls and some nice beach resorts : http://www.solymariloilo,com I also have a good and cheap dentist right in front of my place should you need him, along with a good GP Doctor. Hope to meet you in the not too distant future.
Paul in Iloilo
The Moon it is then. Since brother Tom won't be back for a while I think it would be good to treat him to something nice. In true Iloilo tradition this trips on me. You can get the Gold Eagles and Happy peanuts when I visit the compound
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Thanks, Paul, looking forward to it. Very generous of you.
Dave, Sorry to here Brother Tom is leaving for 8 months. It's great that the Monastery is paying for the plane ticket. Thats $1400.00 saved at least. At least you have friends in Iliolo you can visit now. Take care my friend, be safe
Yep, Papa Duck, I’ll miss Brother Tom, too, but will be meeting some new friends such as Paul in Iloilo. Met another American expat, Ed, at SM City last April that I need to touch base with, too.