From the Central Illinois redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Cute 15-Year-Old Filipina is Checking Me Out!
I'm an old kano that recently turned 59. Been living in the Philippines with my adorable Filipina wife since July 2009. I am surrounded by the beauty of the Philippines on the rural province of Guimaras where we reside at a place I fondly call "The Compound." I am also surrounded by beautiful Pinays like my wife, and everywhere I go in this land of 7,107 islands. Yesterday, a cute 15-year-old Filipina was checking me out!My asawa and I had gone to Iloilo this past Thursday to check on the installation price of a Cignal satellite system. Our current cable company in Guimaras sucks. I'm being gracious. We only pay P350 (8 US Dollars) a month for the "service," but we're getting tired of not having all of the stations we pay for available every day. I also was promised in early January that "Jack TV," one of my favorite channels with a lot of programs from the States, would be returning. "Jack" was supposed to be back in late January, but as we approach the end of February, still no "Jack." He must evidently be on Filipino Time.
Shelled out an additional 13 pesos and paid for Cousin Emma's jeepney ride to the Jordan wharf to get a pump boat to Iloilo and the Ortiz Dock. Cousin Emma, proprietor of the Jade and Joe Market in Guimaras, had hopped on the jeepney we were using to get to the Jordan wharf, and was trying to track down P5000 worth of cooking oil at the Jordan dock that she was going to resell at her store.
Seems that the pump boat she took from Iloilo the other day, and loaded with supplies for her market, docked at the Jordan wharf in Guimaras, and did not unload the cooking oil for Emma at Jordan. She did not notice the oil was missing until later. Emma couldn't remember the name of the boat, and Lang Lang, her regular porter (and ours) at the Ortiz Dock in Iloilo was too sleepy to remember what boat he had loaded for Cousin Emma (Lang Lang works the night shift as a barangay policeman, also.) No one at the Jordan Wharf in Guimaras claimed to know anything about the oil.
Got to SM City, and I couldn't find the Cignal satellite sales people that had a table set up on the lower level last time I had talked to them about getting a dish installed at "The Compound" in Guimaras. Cost was going to be P5,000 for the dish, receiver and the installation. Kind of pricey for me, but since we had gotten a tax refund from our Uncle Sam, my wife wanted a new TV. Seemed to make sense to get a more reliable source of our television programming if we purchased a new TV set, and John Miele had put the stamp of approval on Cignal, so I thought, why not check it out? Just couldn't find the sales people.
Of course, the asawa spied a "Dream" satellite office in the mall right away. "No, that's 'Dream.' They wouldn't have a rival company like Cignal right in their office." I said. Yeah, right. After we were ready to go home, we went by the "Dream" office again, and of course, they had posters for "Cignal" on their walls and was offering satellite services for BOTH companies. Again, the wife is always right.
Well, I was not in a good mood since I was found to be wrong again, so I asked the sales lady how much the installation was for Guimaras.
- "6,000 pesos, sir." was her reply.
- "What?" I loudly said. "It was just 5,000 pesos last time I checked!"
- "That promo is over, sir." the lady replied.
- "Forget it, then," I said, "I'm not paying 6,000 pesos!" and walked out, embarrassing my wife once again.
I manage to embarrass my spouse twice more in the second part of this story that will conclude tomorrow, along with the lowdown on the cute 15-year-old Filipina that was checking me out. No wonder I call my asawa "The Sainted Patient Wife!"