The Wife Is Always Right!

I left off yesterday's story excited that my plan to help my ever patient, hardworking wife, Melinda, with the household chores at "The Compound" by enlisting the aid of our 13-year-old niece, Shaina, to clean our CR, Comfort Room, once a week,  seemed to be working.  In return for her scrubbing our toilet, I had given my niece, against the warning from my asawa that Shaina was not responsible,  my old cell phone that was only displaying a half screen image at times, but could still be used if the phone was turned on and off a few times which would bring back the full screen.  My wife and I were on our way to Iloilo for some shopping and to purchase a load I had promised for Shaina's  phone.DSC

After having the phone for almost three weeks and doing a good job of cleaning our bathroom (or so I thought), our niece had not lost the phone and was eager to text her school buddies.  My wife and I came home with the Smart Buddy 300 peso load,  which I had loaded to my asawa's phone first. I was getting ready to transfer 200 pesos to Shaina's phone (my wife wanted a 100 pesos of that load),  and when I completed the transfer of P60 (can only transfer 60 pesos at a time), I asked my niece to check her phone to see if she got the first load. I had gotten an automated text message from Smart that the load was successfully transferred and wanted to verify it on my old phone.

Shaina checked the phone but only the half screen image would materialize. Nothing I could do would restore the full screen image making it impossible to see any new messages or to send any messages.  My old phone was virtually useless. I make an executive decision to buy Shaina a NEW phone   at SM City the next day, a Sunday.  My wife had thought I had completely lost it, and repeated her opinion that our niece was not responsible enough for any cell phone,  let alone a new one. But she knew I was adamant about sticking through with my plan and nothing she could say at this point would dissuade me.

We bought Shaina and her brother Sharwin along with us the next day to SM City at Iloilo.   I roamed the mall to find the cheapest cell phone I could. Got a P950 (21.74 US Dollars) stripped-down Samsung model with no camera at a WellCom store, plus paid P100 for a case. Met up with my wife and the kids later, and my niece was thrilled to see that I had bought her  the new phone.  Took the  SIM card from my old phone, charged Shaina's new Samsung, and she was all set for school tomorrow, Monday, with her status evidently elevated as a proud owner of a new phone with a P200 load.  I told her to always carry  the phone with her in her backpack.

Friday afternoon  of the same week my wife  comes into our room and announces to me that Shaina had lost her phone on the way home from school.  She had not kept the new phone in the backpack as I had requested and had it with her at her side. I let out a string of expletives that couldn't be printed on this website or spoken at most R-rated movies. "Where's Shaina?" I bellowed. "She went back to 'The Crossing" to try and find her phone." my wife replied. ("The Crossing" is our downtown area where the kids are dropped off from their high school.)

"I told you she would lose it." my wife says. I'm sure she took immense pleasure in rubbing it in.  I shook off the stinging words and "manned up." I firmly and forcefully said (without yelling): "Yes, YOU were right. I WAS wrong.  I was stupid in giving Shaina that extra responsibility and that phone." I said no more and walked out of the room as I heard our niece come into the house.

I stand at the doorway of the room she shares with her brother and my mother-in-law. "SHAINA!" I bellow.  She comes to the entrance. "You have made me look stupid (which  quite frankly is not an immensely  difficult thing to do), and you have lost your phone. Tita said you were not responsible, and she was right.  You have proven that. You only had your new phone  for five days that I spent over 1,000 pesos on and have already lost it! I don't want you to clean our CR anymore, and I don't want you to step foot in our room from now on to do any kind of cleaning." (That's a great punishment I mete out, huh? The kid now has a reduction in her chores.)

I walked out. Told my asawa that she can deal with Shaina now, and that she can clean the CR again. She seemed pleased. I was dejected and disappointed. A beaten man. A husband.

24 comments

  1. Dave….I quess you learned your lesson on trying to be the helpfull Kano. Your lovley wife sure has a pretty smile and so wondering..do you get many of those lovley smiles to you, because I am thinking those are much more enjoyable to a man that the roll of the eyes!!Some times no matter what the helpfull husband tries to do it allways ends up a mess in a lot of wifes minds,or so it seemed to me many years ago.I did learn on thing about women…they have a file cabinet..(special place in their brain) that they file all things and for some reason they file more of the things they are not pleased with, than the things they are pleased with.The interesting thing is they seem to have instant recall on the things they are not pleased with and there seems to be a error some place on recalling the things they were pleased with about you.Maybe it would be a better idea if a man learned that eye rooling and fits of tampo and all that other good stuff will get the woman no where in the mans eyes and maybe they will slow down on some of it.They say that a woman will test the man to see if he is strong or weak and if he is weak they will run over you like a 18 wheeler and if he is strong they will do all most anything for you!! Hope You and Your Wife had a lovley Harts day there.

    1. Well, Dan, I get more of the smiles than the roll of the eyes, thankfully. It’s been a strain since we have retired because I no longer am out of the house for 12 hours a day going to work, and I’m with my poor suffering wife almost 24/7 now. We’re cramped in a smaller house, she doesn’t get to go on her weekly shopping trips with her friends back in the States, so it’s been a period of adjustment for us. Believe it or not, I’m NOT the easiest person in the world to get along with.

      That said, my wife does have absolute TOTAL RECALL of ANY wrong word, slight, sarcastic remark, and any infraction I might have committed in her eyes. Yes, that filing cabinet DOES exist. I don’t know if my wife is testing me or not. Much as I like to kid around how she’s the boss, I am the one that makes the final decisions here and try to make those decisions in light of what I think is best for the both of us. She never tries to undermine me or challenge me when I make such decisions. I’m a fortunate guy.

      1. Yes…….Dave..I was just fun en you a little is all……any time a man and woman make it 11 years then they have to have something going for them….. and it nice when u can let them feel they are the boss and you are the one with the final say……

        1. Thanks, Dan. Before I married my Filipina wife, I remember reading what some guy that had already married a Filipina said. It goes something like this: ” A Filipina wife will make you FEEL like you are the boss, when the fact is SHE really is.” How true. How true.

  2. Hi Dave,
    You have to give her a chance sometime, and you did. Good for you. But, she failed the test, this time. Bad for her. It’s possible she could still be required to perform her chore, per your agreement, and suffer the loss of her phone, which was her own fault. That’s a self-inflicted punishment, the most effective kind.

    1. Hi Monty Man, good to hear from you! I would gladly let her perform the chore per our agreement, but I’m afraid for some reason my asawa thinks our niece does not clean the CR as good as she does. I think our niece was doing just fine. I think I’ll wait it out and try to put your plan into action after things die down a bit.

  3. Dave,

    I am a firm believer in giving people the opportunity to grow and learn from their mistakes. No matter what anyone says, You did the right thing by purchasing your 13 year old niece, Shaina a new mobile w/load. I completely understand the logic in you doing so, and honestly, I would have did the EXACT same in that particular situation as you had already committed yourself to the deal. Plus, a teenage girl getting her first mobile really is a huge event in their lives. You made that happen, regardless the outcome.

    Responsibility is a learned trait, normally through our mistakes. Believe me, I’ve lost things even as an adult that made me think “boy, that was pretty stupid” your niece has probably beaten herself up pretty badly about what has happened, while at the same time knowing how disappointed you must be. Don’t give up on her, maybe work something out in the way of her earning a small amount of peso each week or month from extra chores/duties she sucessfully completes according to your standards, and not necessarily pertaining to the comfort room, of which she can save or give to you to stash away until such time that it is enough to cover a replacement mobile.

    Just my opinion.

    1. I agree with you KenRay. I definitely think our niece deserves a second chance. I’m looking into getting my old cell phone repaired and letting her earn another chance to have that one back. Your idea of earning an allowance to cover a replacement phone is an excellent idea, and with summer vacation coming up soon would be a good chance to implement that idea. Thanks so much!

  4. Dave..You did do the right thing and if nothing else out of all of it…..I am sure the girl will remember that one needs to watch over their belongings more…and she will also remember you kept your word…thats important…maybe more important that any cell phone would ever be…..

    1. Thanks, Dan, I felt I could not go back on my word to her, that would have been a very poor example indeed. Maybe with school ending soon (first week of April) I can get together with my wife to see if we can’t schedule her some additional responsibilities and give her another chance. I don’t know about you, but when I was 13, I sure tended to make mistakes from time to time.

      1. When I was 13 I was making more misteaks than getting it right in my parents eyes……so the night I graduated from high school I moved out of the house…all ready had a job and so was ready to be on my own..I fig. if can not do much right in their eyes then might as well try and get it right by my self…..and was the right thing for me…at least I can say that I was on my own when it was legal to be on your own and was still not living at home ( like so many do ) with the feeling of every body owes me something at the age of 35….that is called entitlements that so many here in the USA feel they are owed…So..ya…she needs another chance and you have the time on how to implement that Dave….I think a kid needs encouragement not discouragement and if all they hear is they can not do any thing right then they grow up thinking they are worthless to a degree and really can not do anything right..so good for you on what you are trying to do there….

        1. Sounds like you walked down a rough ride, Dan, but you didn’t cry “victim” and worked things out for yourself. You didn’t feel entitled, didn’t whine, and got the job done. Good for you. I admire that.
          As far as Shaina goes, we’re going to give her another chance. Been getting some good suggestions from all the comments left, and you’re right, the kid does need encouragement. I remember my own Dad calling me stupid so many times. I shook it off. Graduated from high school with the “National Honor Society” and got a scholarship to go to SIU in Edwardsville, Illinois.

          1. Yes…Dave..good for you also and you know what…..after thinking about it, I do not remember learning or hearing the word “entitled” or entitlement when growing up.I remember hearing if you take a job you give 100 plus percent and also remember you deserve to be paid for your efforts. I think things were different in the 50’s and part of the 60’s growing up. I think things starting going down hill some time in the 70’s to the present day as far as a lot feeling they deserved this and that because for some reason in their small mind they felt they were entitled to it with out earing it or working for it.Some of that could have started with the peanut farmer President Carter…he was a joke in my mind and still is……so who knows…any way…..maybe with a little patience and time you can get some good things done with Shaina done..sure of that.

            1. The whole entitlement thing could have started with the peanut farmer, Dan, who in my mind was one of the worst presidents in US history, and I voted for him (the first time.) I did like brother Billy who would have been right at home in the Philippines and could pee wherever he wanted to. I think Jimmy should just stay home and keep building houses instead of negotiating with terrorist dictatorships and sticking his nose where it’s not wanted. I admire his work for Habitat for Humanity, however. Yeah, I know I just made a comment about getting my Social Security in three years, but that’s something I worked and put money into for decades. It’s not something I’m getting for free.

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