Cute Filipina at SM Still Wants To Be My Mistress?

The mistress issue was back! Last month, after a cute Filipina salesgirl at SM whispered to me last month:  "I think she wants to be your mistress, Sir Dave.",  my asawa and I returned to SM City so I could send my recently completed 2010 1040 tax forms (Uncle Sam owed me a refund) from my favorite and reliable PhilPost office located on the lower level of my favorite mall in Iloilo City (yes, I possibly could have "e-filed", but I'm still "old school" on some things.)   After seeing another kano in front of me, who turned out to be Allan, an American from Los Angeles, who briefly engaged me in conversation but quickly left when his mail was cared for; I'm sure the poor guy did not have time to hear more of my long-winded stories.  Girls of Dinagyang

I needed to buy some new lighter weight ankle socks since I had managed to scratch my right  foot a couple of weeks ago,  and the scratch became infected. My toes, foot, and ankle swelled up bigger than Kirstie Alley on a McDonald's binge! Half the foot was red, and the fact that I had not worn any socks since living in the Philippines, the shoe leather had irritated my scratch after walking around SM City a couple of weeks ago.

After a folk remedy cure prescribed by my mother-in-law, The Feared Giant Lizard Killer, which involved putting SCALDING hot water on the infection to draw it out and taking Amoxicillin (at two pesos each) to fight off further infection,  the infected foot is almost healed now and saved me a trip to the doctor (and possibly my foot.)  But I needed some lighter socks and after mailing my tax forms, I stopped at the SM Department Store section that I had approached from a different direction than usual, and did not realize that "Emma" and "Maria" worked in this area (my wife later asked me "Are you SURE you forgot?")

"Emma", the cute Filipina sales girl, had told me before that her co-worker and attractive friend, "Maria," who already was a mistress to an older Filipino married man, wanted to be MY mistress. I honestly had forgotten this was the area that the two worked in, and yesterday, they were both there as I was trying to buy the new socks!

I wanted to get out as fast as I could, and fortunately was rescued by a more senior co-worker who directed me to the socks I needed and engaged me in conversation. I did not have to speak to the other two salesgirls and quickly went to the cashier unaccompanied (at SM, like Ace Hardware, the sales personnel get extra credit, not a commission, however,  for more sales they can bring in and personally escort you to the cashiers.)

My asawa had just sent me a text that she was resting at a nearby bench area, so I joined her and  told her what had just happened. That's when she asked me: "Are you SURE you forgot that the girl worked in that department?" I honestly said to her that I really DID forget.  What do I tell you, my faithful readers? I have to truthfully  report the same. I DID forget (but I won't anymore.)  I'm going to be 59 next month, and I'm getting old. But if I want to reach my next birthday, there are SOME things I BETTER start remembering like what department cute Filipinas at SM in Iloilo City are working!

30 Comments

  1. Tell a lie, tell the truth….we lose either way!

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    • Absolutely, Tony!

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  2. 59? I just turned 53 yesterday (now that it’s past midnight). I don’t have cute Filipina’s trying to get me (dang it), but my asawa thinks I do.
    According to her that’s all I do on the computer is talk to my girlfriends.
    Oh well, she’ll get over it someday. Maybe the day she dies, but someday.
    No need for her to be jealous, I’m just ‘looking at the menu’, not even sampling.

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    • Happy Belated Birthday, John Jackson. I think jealousy is a problem with some Filipinas here, but how can you blame them for being jealous when so many of us kanos, like you and I (and Lance the Canadian, amongst others) are so doggone handsome? Is it our fault that God blessed us with such good looks?

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      • Dave, sounds like you have been talking to Joy again. I guess our good looks are a curse sometimes. lol.

        Glad to hear your foot is getting better, a simple scratch can get quite infected in the tropics. I scraped my leg on a rice threshing machine on a farm outside Iloilo and put iodine on it once I got back to the hotel. I also checked when I last had a tetanus shot, the doctor told me one time I need a new shot every 10 years.

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        • Hi Lance the Canadian. Yeah, I guess it’s just a curse that we’re both so good looking, LOL!

          The foot really had me worried. I’m sure I need a new tetanus shot. Next time I visit Doctor’s Hospital in Iloilo I’ll get one. My wife informs me that I have to be careful because there are a lot of germs in the Philippines. Her medical knowledge astounds me.

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          • I believe tetanus is caused by a soil bacteria, so a cut on the foot could be more susceptible to infection.

          • Thanks, Lance the Canadian. I am going to have the wife and I both get some tetanus shots. The costs for our shots were so high back in America that we decided to wait until we got to the Philippines. I’m just a little slow in getting it done.

  3. Dave..that back into yesterday natural Rx of pouring scalding hot water on the infection by the top MD there at the compound, must be a real winner. I am thinking maybe a red hot side ( cooked in a special fire in the back yard ) of a used old bolo would have done the job…..burned those evil bateria’s right out of your leg and sent them to hell…..

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    • Good idea with the hot bolo to sear the wound and get rid of the bacteria, Dan. The scalding hot water method worked well many years ago on a gun shot wound my wife (happened before we met) had many years when she got shot at a dance in Guimaras. Here the scoop on that story.

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      • Dave, love the photo of Melinda’s blue hair in the gunshot article.

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        • Thanks, Lance the Canadian. That’s a look I would like to see her replicate in the Philippines.

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  4. There sure are some crazy people on this site.
    All good looking, but a little coo coo.

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    • Are you referring to me, John Jackson?

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      • I’m including just about everyone, including myself. But I guess what prompted the remark was Dan’s remark about the hot bolo.
        Unless of course y’all were being serious about the hot scalding water and the red hot bolo.
        Anyone thinking about using that hot bolo on a wound? Count me out. Think I’d pass on the scalding water too.
        That would be kind of like when Crocodile Dundee pretended to use the hunting knife to shave and the other guy actually tried it.
        Of course I say all this now, but if it came down to that or losing my leg, I’d probably try it. We’re only about a mile or so from a hospital, so maybe I’d try that first.

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        • Let me tell you, John Jackson, that scalding water treatment hurt like crazy! Of course my asawa used some clever psychology on me, and told me I wouldn’t be able to stand the hot water, would be too painful. That’s like a “triple-dog-dare-you.” I had to do it then! I’ll pass on the hot bolo, however. Scalding hot water is as far as I will go.

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          • Hope they gave you some Tanduay rum or Red Horse beer to dull the pain BEFORE administering the scalding hot water.

          • Hmmm, maybe next time, Lance the Canadian, I never thought of that.

  5. I have high blood sugar so I have to be careful with my feet. Nothing but flip-flops for me. Shoes will put a blister on me so quick. It takes a long time to heal but I must admit I heal twice as fast here in the Philippines than I did in the cold country of Michigan. Just could not keep my feet warm in the winter, spring or fall. Boiling water on my foot?? They would have to cut it off after that. Hope you heal.

    Forgot? Sure you did Dave. I forget too. I just asked Meriam the other day if she knew what I was thinking and she said NO. I was hoping she knew because I forgot. Well I am 65 now.

    73,
    Gary

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    • I only wear flip-flops around “The Compound,” Gary, but wear some leather “boat deck” shoes I’ve have had for four years when we go on the pump boat to Iloilo. The flip-flops or sandals don’t give me enough stability as I maneuver the concrete steps on the wharf in Jordan in Guimaras or the Ortiz Dock in Iloilo where the pump boat docks. The foot is healing fine, though, thanks.

      Yeah, I don’t know if the asawa bought the “forgot” bit, either, Gary.

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    • Gary, there was a great line on the Married With Children TV show. When the wife asked the husband what he was thinking, he replied “Well honey, if I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I’d be talking”. Gotta love Al and Peggy Bundy.

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      • Ha ha, I laughed out loud when I read that gem from Al Bundy! Thanks for sharing it, Lance.

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        • Yeah, that’s one of my two favorite lines from Al Bundy. The other one was his reply when his wife asked if she is getting fat. He said “Don’t worry honey, it’s just more of you to love.” I wonder how that line would go over with a Filipina wife?

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          • I wouldn’t risk that “more of you to love” line, Lance. My asawa told me she was getting a little roll of fat on her belly as she pinched her gut. “What? Are you sure? I don’t think so!” One reason we’ve been married 11 years.

          • Actually there’s a third favorite line from Al Bundy. His wife is going away for a week to visit her mother and as she is about to leave the house she asks Al if he will miss her. He replies “Well I can’t miss you until you leave” and pushes her out the front door. I dont’ think that one would go over very well with a Filipina wife, lol.

          • That’s a great line, Lance. But there is NO way I would try that one on my wife!

  6. did you forget that your sainthood wife has an always standby bolo? lol…..what’s up Dave…U don’t know me and I believe this is my first comment but I’ve been reading you blogs

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    • I NEVER forget about that standby bolo she keeps in her big purse, Jon T. And thanks for the first comment, hope to see more. Thanks for reading the blogs.

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  7. Hello Dave
    You sure know how to get out of a tricky situation with your wife hehe
    xoxo
    MrsM

    Reply
    • Well, MrsM, I don’t know if she really bought my story or not, but I honestly didn’t remember that whole mistress thing when I went back to that department.

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