From the Midwest redneck author of "The Rooster Crows at 4am!," "Lizard Poop!," and "The Philippines Expat Advisor"
Cute Filipina Dancer Wants Me To Buy Her A Laptop!
Have to exercise caution if you are a foreign guy living in the Philippines. Doesn't matter to some of the cute Filipinas living here if you are married or not. I always make that clear up front in any conversation I have with sales girls at SM City in Iloilo which is the usual shopping hangout for my beautiful Filipina wife and I. I've been happily married for over 10 years, but am treated like a celebrity at my new home in the Philippines. Several months ago I wrote a story about a cute Filipina pushing a baby carriage in SM City who wanted to visit me at our home on Guimaras Island. It made no difference to her whatsoever that I was married.
As I've stated numerous times in my blogs, old geezers with a face like a dog's butt would still find attractive young girls in the Philippines that would be interested in them. Now if they are just trying to scam you because they think you are a “rich American” or “rich Canadian” (like one of my regular readers, Lance), I suspect the perception that some of us have a few pesos in our pocket might be the major draw.
However, many young ladies in the Philippines think that a white-skinned kano is a handsome guy because white skin is pushed so heavily here in print ads and on television. Major celebrities in the Philippines are light-skinned, and, as mentioned in previous blogs , employees of SM Department Stores have to be fair-skinned to be hired. While it is an extremely discriminatory policy and attitude, that is the prevailing belief in the Philippines from what I can see.
About a month ago my wife and I had discussed the possibility of introducing ladies from our area to American men or other foreigners that might be traveling to the Philippines in the future. We definitely were NOT planning a business to arrange marriages between Filipinas and foreigners since that is strictly forbidden by Philippine law. I cannot begin to tell you how many times female sales ladies from SM have asked me to introduce them to any friends I had in America once I told them I was married to a Filipina and came from America.
I am well aware that it is a harsh life for many in the Philippines where the average salary of sales associates at the mall for ONE DAY is 265 pesos, or approximately six US Dollars. However, one day when I walked into a local Ace Hardware, I was still very shocked by the request of a cute Filipina, who turned out to be a part-time dancer, that wanted me to give buy her a laptop computer for 23,000 pesos! 525 US Dollars! The CONCLUSION of this story tomorrow!
Man, I really should buy you the history books I told you about (revisiting the past by renato constantino, volumes I and II). It would, partly explain why filipinos are like that towards white people (it doesn't matter even if you're from some country in Europe that God forgot, like Moldova for example).
I always wish that Filipinos will stop being dependent on whites on everything, or put whites on a pedestal. I'm not being racist, I'm just saying Filipinos should take the initiative, be independent instead of dependent and most of all, stop having notions of Whites as providers of the good life.
For sure, Koreans, Japanese, Latin Americans and other light skinned races don't get the kind of treatment that whites get. There is an obvious bias towards you guys.
Hi, Kaltehitze! I’m going to Iloilo later this week and see if I can find those books you told me about. I’m sure the books would give me a better understanding of the Filipino culture.
I don’t think you are being racist at all. It is nice to get all the attention whenever I travel to Iloilo or elsewhere in the Philippines, but I completely agree that just because I’m white I shouldn’t be put on a pedestal. Unfortunately, that attitude does exist among many people here. I am just like anybody else. I’m just a person. I am no better than anyone else, and no one is better than me.
There absolutely is a bias towards me and other kanos. I hate getting special treatment when there is a long line at the pump boat ticket office, and my porter gets my ticket for me so I can board the next pump boat to Iloilo. If I refuse, I risk offending him. I want to be treated just like anyone else. Thank you so much again for your valuable insight. And I’ll get those books next trip!
It is so true. As you have said many times "they treat you like a celeb". I have noticed that it is not quite as true in Iloilo (although it is still there). In Pampanga I noticed it to a greater degree.
I think it would be hard for some to keep a good head on thier shoulders in this type of enviorment.
No matter where we are, we don't want to become "ugly Americans".
Dave, I know your not like that but you have seen them and so have I. I love the Philippines so much and just want to enjoy the culture and the laid back lifestyle that is there. There is nothing like it in all the world!
Hi Randall! Yes, the attention is nice, but it wouldn’t be too hard to get a “big head” that’s for sure.
You are so right about the “ugly American.” I have seen some Americans acting stupid over here (along with some other foreigners), but I’m always mindful that this is my new home, and I am a visitor. I always want to be respectable.
You’re right! The Philippines is a great place to live, and there is no place else like this in the world. Thanks for the comment!
Hi Dave,
I also noticed the same thing as Randall, that the celeb status of foreigners is not as obvious in Iloilo as other parts of the Philippines. In Iloilo, the attention from girls is more discreet, I think the Ilonggos are more shy than Cebuanos. Illongas will say something like they want to marry a foreigner so they can have a beautiful baby. (I think they mean light-skinned but could also mean the mixed facial characteristics.) In Cebu it is much more obvious, I remember one Cebuana who was with an expat checking out of a hotel at the same time we were checking in. She tried flirting with me until she noticed my Filipina-Canadian girlfriend laughing about it, and then the girl immediately turned her attention to my overweight Canadian buddy. It was kind of funny how obvious she was being about it and how quickly she moved from one guy to another. I can see how some foreigners can get a swelled head with all those cute young Filipinas flirting with them, especially if they get little attention from the ladies in their home countries.
Hi Dave,
I was at a major store here in Tagum yesterday and was looking to buy a mirror for the upstairs CR. There were 2 young ladies there also and I got big smiles from both of them. The taller one asked me my age. At first I didn't want to tell her … I just turned 65 last week. They just wouldn't give up so I asked her age. 16! 16 Dave! So I told her I was 65 that I was too old for her. Hahaha, She said "65! Yes!" She acted as she won the Lotto. Dave, 16 will get you 25 here in the Philippines or in the States or any where else in the world. I just walked away. Meriam could hear everything from where she was shopping. She couldn't stop laughing. As we were checking out here the girl comes and stands right next to me. She didn't care that my wife was standing next to me. My oldest daughter is 43, she could be my granddaughter. So it is in the Philippines. Life can be a "hoot" here.
73,
Gary
Hi Lance the Canadian!
I agree that most of the Ilonggos are shy. I have also heard some of them say they want to marry a foreigner so they can have a beautiful baby. If they direct that towards me I advise them that I am already married. Don’t what the wife chasing after me with her bolo!
I guess I will find out about Cebu next week when I go there a couple of days for some business. That’s a great story about your experience while checking into the hotel. You’re right about getting attention in the Philippines. It does boost the ego, but I’m fortunate to already have a beautiful Filipina wife. The only time I got so much attention back in the States was during my “hanging out at bars phase” when I was single. Funny how a few drinks someone has suddenly makes you more handsome (and I’m also reminded of the reverse in the classic Mickey Gilley song, “The Girls All Get Prettier at Closing Time!“
Hi Gary,
Loved that story, Gary! Another example of what to look for when you visit or live in the Philippines. As you well know, Gary, your story in not uncommon for us “senior” guys living in paradise. Twenty-five years in a Third World jail is NOT the place you want to be. That is, if you even make it to the jail. Sometimes if the parents and relatives of the girl hear what has happened, you will find yourself dead due to multiple stab wounds and a thorough thrashing! Please exercise extreme caution, guys. Thanks for sharing your experience, Gary.
That really is the mentality around here. The CD crowd is probably just more brazen in revealing their regard, but you'll find people in the AB crowd are also given to showing Caucasians preferential treatment, acting like the foreigners are superior somehow… All that education has not been able to erase society's conditioning. It's just the way history shaped the Filipino people.
Thanks for your viewpoint, Ivy. Kaltehitze (see comments below) has recommended some good books for me to check out which explains that mentality. As I said before, I really don’t want preferential treatment but risk offending someone who shows me such treatment. Kind of like a “Catch 22.” But I really love the friendly people of the Philippines who greet me with a smile most everywhere I go.
Nice new home for all of your blog!
xoxo
MrsM
Thanks, MrsM. Glad you like the new digs.
Expats
I have been here for 5 years.
I dont like anything about the country.
I am going back home and I am not going
to miss a day here.
Five years is a long time, pogikai. I’m just curious. Are you here on a job? The Philippines isn’t for everyone, that’s for sure. You have invested quite a big amount of time here, and good luck to you wherever you might go.
Oh my! what an expensive request. If you heed her request, you will be outside the kulambo for your entire life hehe
xoxo
MrsM
I don’t feel like sleeping on the sofa, MrsM, so I most certainly will NOT honor that request. Besides, you know my asawa always carries a bolo!
Yeah, that is an expensive request. Dave, what did the dancer offer you in return for buying her a laptop?
That’s a saddening reality for us Filipinos.
Well, MinnieRunner, of course the vast majority of Filipinas are trusting and sweet. The harsh poverty for so many compels them to do dishonest things, but my Filipina wife never asked me for one peso before we got married. Fortunately for so many of us guys married to Filipinas, there ARE plenty of good, moral Filipinas out there.
Of course I married the best one Dave. I have a good reason to live life now. So much better here. There are bad women out there…in every country. Best to look before you leap!
Well, Gary, you and I have and many of my readers have married the best ones. In our cases it turned out to be beautiful, kind, sweet, understanding, and incredibly patient Filipinas.
Patient…isn’t that the truth!
I don’t know if it’s just Alzheimer’s, but I could not allow such silly claims to be made without rebuttal. You will not get 25 years in prison for being with a 16 year old. For one, there is no age restriction anywhere in the world for dating or friendship.
Assuming you are an old pervert and just want sex, 16 is legal across the planet. In the Philippines, 13 is the law. Like in the West, where 16 is law, but guys go after 13, 13 is law in the PH, and 10 is the normal target. Have you not noticed how young the prostitutes and sex slaves are here? Don’t forget, there are no laws in the Philippines.
No laws in the Philippines Mike. What are you smoking??
Glad to see you back, Gary.
Hey Gary, long time no hear
Yeah, we missed you, Gary!
Hi Lance, thanks for the Facebook add, now I know what you look like. Thanks Dave, I have been reading but not posting.
So you got to see the face of the best looking guy in Canada, huh, Gary? And you still live to talk about it! -)
Dave, I’m sure Gary prefers looking at the gorgeous Vancouver Canucks babe in my gravatar instead, can’t blame him at all, she is a hottie:
http://communities.sportsnet.ca/servlet/JiveServlet/showImage/2-380055-3058/canucks-girl.jpg
And “don’t hate me because I am beautiful”, check it out, lol.
Aw Lance, whips and handcuffs???
I just thought it was a funny commercial
Even Meriam like it Lance. No worries mate.
Good to see you and Lance exchanging remarks again, Gary.
Hopefully it won’t give Meriam or Melinda any ideas, lol
The Sainted Patient Wife is too busy cleaning the CR, Lance. And the upcoming trip to Raymen Beach this Saturday should keep her distracted.
Dave, you’ll never know unless you show it to her
Ok, Lance. Maybe after her afternoon nap. Cleaning the CR sure takes a lot out of her!
Check it out Lance. The key word is MAYBE! No guts, no glory.
Good eyes Gary about the “MAYBE after her afternoon nap”, we will have to see if Dave shows it to Melinda or not.
Huh, show what, Lance? I’m 59 years old and have got a short memory span.
yeah it's true that here in my country most of filipinas think of the americans as : good,handsome, great opportunity and have lots of money.. but not all .. there are many filipina who only look for the foreigners' money so the appearance doesnt matter as long as you can provide her financial support.. and it's very sad.. but there are filipina too who only dream to marry an american.. without looking at his appearance and money and truly searching for love .. so yeah .. it should be patience.. dnt let others take advantage of you.. you dnt know the financial crisis here that forces a good natured filipina to become so practical that she'd forgotten the old values taught by the elder generation … so if you wanna marry a filipina take time, get to know her… and GOODLUCK everyone ;p
Thank you so much, sasahara, for your comment. Much more pleasant than the earlier remark from Lele who stated:“most girls that western men marry are rejects of pinoys here, old western men with young pinay wife who is poor, no rich pinay will marry an oldman.”My Filipina wife, ever since as a young teenager when she saw a local Filipina walking around with an American on her island of Guimaras, actually prayed at that moment that she would marry an American. And she did (have to be careful what you pray for, God might just answer that prayer.)
My wife married me because she loved me. I am grateful for her, and I know the vast majority of Filipinas are like here.
dave i'm having problem replying
it seems that i need to install some plug in to do that 
well i think that is completely wrong.. well some pinoys are irresponsible.. after they got the women pregnant they run away and nver showed up. maybe lot of filipinas are tired dealing with these pinoys so they looked for foreigners to give them love. there are so many teenage pregnancy and abortion here…my country is not perfect but it wasnt that bad ..the fact that sex education was never introduced and lots of teenagers never knew how to be responsible enough to give protections to themselves..
and yeah filipino can be so much racist that they love amricans rather than the'r own brothers.. but what i'm saying is.. not all… if 300 filipina flirts to you and wanted to dig money on you pocket.. well there are hundreds and thousands filipina who might actually searching for love and not for who you are or bcoz you did live in america …
Looks like your comment has showed up now, Sasahara. Sorry about the difficulty. I wholeheartedly agree with your statement: “but what i’m saying is.. not all… if 300 filipina flirts to you and wanted to dig money on you pocket.. well there are hundreds and thousands filipina who might actually searching for love and not for who you are or bcoz you did live in america.” My Filipina wife was one of those searching for love, and I’m blessed to have her as my wife. Thanks so much for your remark.
its my first visit here,.,.i just try if i can comment then i share my story next.,.,.
helow guys…
not all filipinas just dig money from the pockets of foreigners.. i really appreciate your message coz im one of the girls who really want to find true love… i had a bad experience to a japanese man, i treated him as a normal bf and just enjoy his company, he trust me coz i never ask any financial support from him., he even put his money to my bag everytime he go to casino.. its 200,000pesos and his cards and valuable things.. its a big money but i never get even a piece of thousand, we go out and eat he gave me his wallet and i pay every bill.. i respect him and i dont want he think that im like other filipina scammers,. but as months pass he came back to japan, i receive a message from a girl saying that shes the girlfriend, and not only me and he still have other girl in pampanga and cebu. i was shocked and nothing to do but cry.. we had a conversation with the girl and as i refer all his vacation it matches.. the vacations that he said his going in korea for business trips.. then its in phil to have business to other girls.. its really sad and very dispointing experience for me. to have bf from dating site is really taking risk, not sure who is the right one.. but keep on waiting and never lose hope,, but must be very careful in next relationship coz its not easy to fix a broken heart.. thanks and hope u understand my english… JHEN
Hi Jhen,
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear about how you were scammed. Of course, greed and scammers are a global issue, not just confined to the Philippines. When our heart becomes involved, it becomes even more painful when our trust is betrayed. I sincerely thank you again for sharing your story, and hope it can serve as a reminder to my readers. I emphasize time and again, if the person you are corresponding with and even eventually meet asks for money, RUN! I’ve talked to several expats in the past few months that have taken in by those only interested in their money.
Indeed, it’s not easy to fix a broken heart. I think most of us have been through that. I know I was over 12 years ago, and then I met The Sainted Patient Wife, the most beautiful and patient Filipina I know. We’ll be married 12 years next month. As you stated, never lose hope. Thanks again, Jhen, and take care.
why they marry a much oldermen old enough to be their dad, gross
I admit that your observations are true. Most pinoys think that white is the superior race. It doesn’t matter which country you came from, if your skin is lighter in color, you’ll be put in a pedestal.
On the other hand, if you want to be treated as equal (for most of the time), one should go to the more urbanized part of the country. People here are more competitive and less submissive. Foreigners are treated as one-of-the-guys and not as gods. But be aware that there are snakes (scammers) even in the densiest city.
Also, I agree with Kaltehitze that Renato Constantino’s books are a good read. I was introduced to his works during my university days. I must admit that his books open up my mind. I became skeptical of Gregorio Zaide’s books (to which I grew up with). If not for Constantino, I probably looked at whites as godly creatures that must be put on a pedestal (even if they don’t deserve it). I don’t know why his books were not used in my high school.
Sometimes the guys marry a woman young enough to be their granddaughter, dd. Unfortunately some of the ladies and their families may be in such severe dire economic straits that they will go to extremes to help the family out. This is not the case in all May/December romances, but it is a factor for some.
Thanks for your observations and input, Carol. My Filipina asawa and I now live in a much more urban area, Iloilo, having moved from rural Guimaras where my wife still has a home. Not as many kanos there as in Iloilo where we know live, it’s a much more urban area, but I still encounter cases of where I feel I am treated differently because of my skin color. I don’t like that. I’m no better than anyone else. We’re all the same in God’s eyes as far as I am concerned. Of course, sometimes that works in reverse, as foreigners are sometimes subject to the “skin tax” and charged higher rates.
Kaltehitze’s recommendations are to be taken quite seriously. He’s quite an intelligent young man, and also has a great taste in burgers as he recently treated me to a “Crave Burger,” one of the best hamburgers I have ever tasted.
I salute your humility. Others might wallow and be drowned by the VIP treatment they get from the locals. You are different from a lot of “puti” I encountered.
I am a pinay who migrated in Canada with my pinoy husband. Once in a while we drive down to the US. I can’t help but compare the canadians and the americans. In smaller towns in the US, americans seems to be just like the canadians when it comes to attitude. When we go to the big cities, that’s when the differences becomes apparent. People in the big cities are more rude, hurried, less cheerful and more self-absorbed. I know not all big city dwellers are like them but being a tourist in the area they surely left an impression on me.
BTW, the “skin tax” is not exclusive to foreigners. It happens to pinoys, too, who just came from abroad. I love going back to the Philippines but it really frustrates me when I go shopping because the tinderas tend to price their stuff more because they know I just came from abroad. Since then, I tend to shy away from shopping until I acquire the local color.
I’m still in the process of reading your old entries. I stumbled upon your blog when I googled something about hotdogs. Your entry about your first bite of a locally made hotdog really made me realized that our definition of “good food” depends on what we grew up with. We had the same experience when we first moved here in Canada. I hate locally made hotdogs. I was longing for the ones made in the Philippines for about 5 yrs. Now, my palate had adjusted to the locals.
Nice blog you have here. Keep up the good work.
Thanks so much, Carol, for checking out my website. I really appreciate hearing when someone new happens to discover it. And the fact that you found it by “Googling” about hotdogs is amusing. That post about hotdogs drew quite a few comments. I have found a hot dog I like now and it’s an all beef dog made by Pure Foods. Six hot dogs for P160. I can find them in most big supermarkets in the Philippines such as SM.
I share your views about small town folks and those in the big city. I grew up in a small town in Illinois and going to Chicago was always an experience. There’s a whole different mentality. I can say that the folks in Iloilo City, which has a population of over 400,000 or so are extremely friendly people, however. I know it doesn’t come close to the population of a major metro area like Chicago or Metro Manila. Iloilo City is a big city with a small town flavor.
You bring up a good point about the “skin tax” not being exclusive to foreigners. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I never considered that angle before, but it makes sense. It’s not fair, but that’s the way things are.
Thanks for the kind words. Look forward to reading more remarks from you.