12
Jan

Best Oyster Bar in the Philippines, and I’m a Chick Magnet!

Best Oyster Bar in the Philippines! Like smoked, slimy, cheap oysters served by some smiling Filipinas?  Jus twalk over to Lisa’s Talabahan  (Oyster place) in sunny Guimaras, the home of the American Bonehead and lizards aplenty. Three bucks for about five dozen oysters. Lisa’s has a picture of San Miguel beer on the sign, and eats are cheap, so that makes it the best oyster bar in the Philippines for me! Plus, the shy crew at Lisa’s let me take their photo. Is it just my good looks or charms or what? Every time I am around a lot of Fililpinas here they just smile and giggle.
Best oyster bar in Philippines
Smiling Filipinas
Do I have a “bat in the cave” (booger in the nose) that I have not noticed, or that The Sainted Patient Wife has not told me about? I have walked around all day with one hanging out (booger, that is), and she has not told me.  I look in the mirror every morning and see the same aging mug. I know I ooze charisma, guess I just need to dial it down when I go out amongst the locals. It is a curse being a chick magnet here. Had a coworker back in America, Jay, that had the same problem. Women were all over him like stink on a pig. Back in America the only second looks I got from the ladies were the bag ladies (homeless street people, for my Filipino readers.)  And maybe they were just checking me out to see if I had a cigarette they could bum. 
 I wish I knew what this animal magnetism is that I have before The Sainted Patient Wife guts me with her bolo one night while I am sleeping as the ceiling lizards are pooping on me. Maybe next time I better send our maid, my sister-in-law Marjorie,  over to purchase the oysters. That lady on the left has a wedding ring, and I don’t want her asawa (husband) coming after me! The American Bonehead in the jungles of the Philippines. That’s me alright!

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10 Comments

  • umihoney says:

    the giggles could be due to shyness…asians are warm friendly ppl..not saying you are not good looking xD

  • Grace Mason says:

    Dave, do you eat them raw or cooked? I never liked oysters. My Mom had a bad experience a long time ago with oysters that got her hospitalized. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to live with that kind of animal magnetism attracting women in Guimaras. I thought you already installed a first class CR with shower in your house. Do you remember Lorena Bobbit? Just keep in mind that SPW and the Feared Giant Lizard killer know how to use the bolo.

  • David DeWall says:

    Hi umihoney, I don't think I'm a good looking guy, I'm just teasing in this story, but you are correct, I have found that the Filipinos here are shy, and yes, very warm and friendly people.
    Thanks for your comment!

  • David DeWall says:

    Hi Grace, my family here eats them half cooked, at least that is how SPW eats them. Her Mom loves them. Guess we have to be careful after hearing about your Mom's bad experience with them.

    Ha ha, Grace, I think I understand you. I do take a shower at least twice a day in the new CR, but it doesn't take long to get hot here after just a short walk. Sure, I remember Lorena Bobbit. One of SPW's best friends is named Lorena, and I don't want to meet the fate of Lorena Bobbit's ex. Funny comments, thank you, Grace!

  • *MrsMartinez* says:

    You should have the oysters fresh when cooked unless you wanted to frequently visit the toilet lol

  • David DeWall says:

    Good advice, MrsMartinez! Don't want to be visiting the CR all day! I believe the oysters served here are fresh so that should cut down on the bathroom trips. Thanks for your comment!

  • lovelyshortstories says:

    Gr8 😛

  • David DeWall says:

    Thanks for visiting, lovelyshortstories.

  • 2012 Doomsday Predictions says:

    Oyster bar, never heard of it before but worth trying when I visit Philippine someday 🙂

  • David DeWall says:

    Hi Doomsday, Nope, never heard of it either until I got here. Come and visit sometime, the beaches are great and the people are friendly. Thanks for the comment!

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